Life is funny; sometime it spits in your face and sometimes it takes you over a curve and you smile.
I am in the hospital not to visit a friend o, the person I am visiting with all these packed provisions and money is my husband’s girlfriend.
You open your mouth? Haba. Close it so I can tell you about it.
I am not a Muslim, so it’s not like I am prepared to welcome another woman into my husband’s house; in fact, no Muslim woman will willingly welcome another woman into her house not to talk of us Christians, o.
Two weeks ago, I came back from work; in fact, I just drove into our street when I got a call from my husband’s friend, I call him Big Joe. He was screaming on the phone, ‘Tinu! Tinu, can you come to so and so police station, something happened and your husband has been arrested.’
My head first of all scattered! Husband? Arrested? For what? Why?
And of course, I was asking him one million questions, Big Joe, is he ok? What happened? Accident? What is the matter?
Big Joe just said, ‘everything is under control, he was involved in a fight.’
I was now angry, this husband of mine is too hot tempered; that’s his greatest undoing. He can be very nice and romantic. He can even buy you the moon but when he gets angry enhn, he’s like a volcano abi tornado. He will destroy everything without regard for the consequences. That’s my husband for you.
So, I have learned to manage him. When I see he is getting angry over anything, sharp, sharp I am on my knees begging him, ‘biko no vex, I made a mistake, the fault is mine.’
I will quickly accept the fault even when I don’t truly understand what is going on. Better for both of us that way, abi?
Of course I did a U-turn immediately and headed straight to the police station.
I drove like a mad woman, if it is fight, I can be sure a lot of damage had been done by my husband to warrant whoever he was fighting with to call the police on him.
I got to the police station to be confronted with what happened…hummmn, the story of my life!
This idiot of a husband, this stupid buffoon, this totally bastard- of- a –man- that- I- hope – suffers- some- more- in- police- cell was arrested because he beat his girlfriend!
I said, ‘Ehn? Girlfriend kwa? He doesn’t have a girlfriend, he has a wife and this is me standing before you.’
His friend Big Joe was there, he couldn’t even talk, Police say ‘Madam, your husband has beaten a woman to coma and he said she is his girlfriend, he caught her in bed with another man.’
Eewwwooooooo! This man has finished me!
Big Joe, is this what you people do? Is this the type of friendship you people do with each other, girlfriend carrying at your age?’
I turned to Big Joe because he and my husband are very close friends. But really, should I be blaming Big Joe for my husband’s irresponsibility?
The first thing I wanted to do that night was to enter my car and drive home, straight! To leave the fxxking bagger to suffer in the cell. Oh, by the way, I saw him, Kelvin, my husband, they had stripped him to his boxers, he was looking sweaty, thoroughly harassed and shamefaced.
I just hissed at him and faced the Sergeant on duty.
‘Officer, biko, help me, he is the father of my children, he is my husband, help me.’
The officer said, ‘Today’s Friday, your husband will appear in court on Monday!’
Chai! Kelvin oooooo! See your life! So every Friday night you say you are working late, it is on top of another woman? Meanwhile I will be home waiting for him in my nice nightie and warm food! Na God go punish your fada!
Ok, so, that night, no bail o. but I got the details of what happened. My husband apparently rented a three-bedroom apartment for his girlfriend somewhere in Bode Thomas, Surulere. Of course, after office hours, he went there to do. But that night he got there and met his girlfriend with another man in the house. He chased the man away then beat the girl black and blue after the man left because she couldn’t explain who the man was. It was neighbours who heard her shouting that came and broke open the door. By that time, the girlfriend had become unconscious. That’s how they carried Kelvin to the police station. The girl was brought to this hospital.
Big Joe and I eventually left the station at around 11pm. I went home to tell our children, we have 4, that their father has travelled. Wetin I for tell dem?
Following day, Saturday, I had to look for the hospital that the so called girlfriend was admitted. Why did I go looking for her?
Aunty, Kelvin and I have 4 children, oldest is 16, youngest 4. How will I raise them on my salary? For all of his fault, Kelvin provides for his family, he pays rent, pays school fees and gives money for feeding.
So, he should come back and do his job o. As for me, he has lost my trust and love but biko, he still has training of his children to do, and so must not go to jail.
Antway, that is how I carried myself to go and beg the girlfriend, biko we have small children, don’t press charges, please forgive Kelvin. We will pay hospital bills.
But the babe still dey form unconscious o. almost one week now and her mother doesn’t want me to come in again but me, I will continue to come until they agree to forgive us.
(Series written and edited by Peju Akande and based on true stories)