See me, see trouble!
Immediately I wrote on Ikebe Super magazine there were calls from all over the place that I should also write about Lolly magazine, especially about the sex-mad rake called Dauda the Sexy Guy who later got re-named Nackson!
Now let me make it clear to everybody. Ikebe Super was in a different league entirely from Lolly which was in every material particular a pornographic magazine.
Ikebe Super, no matter the misgivings of some prudish blokes, showcased the funny aspects of lady-killing while Lolly magazine starkly touted the sex act. The ever-present leading figure Dauda, aptly called The Sexy Guy, could sleep with anything in a skirt anytime, anywhere, anyhow!
The un-apologetically pornographic Lolly magazine stole onto the newsstands way back in 1982.
There’s this proverb about seeing in your sokoto trouser what is coming from faraway Sokoto! For such a raunchy magazine to come from the Muslim front and with libertine Dauda in tow could hardly ever have been imagined!
The uneducated loafer Dauda has no other business than the pursuit and slaying of ill-assorted babes.
Dauda is not even your good-looking lady-killer of a bachelor. He’s ugly with a big flat head. Dauda has a sidekick in his very foolish friend John. The duo can engage in any make of con to earn the quid with which to romp through their sleazy lives.
It is not unlike Dauda to rape the wives of others in his regular rampages! Of course anyone’s daughter is regular fare!
He flaunts his turgid member as the surefire cure for AIDS!
This of course attracts ready customers for his ruthless escapades! Any ploy can be deployed to celebrate the booming fun.
Along the line, the name Dauda had to be changed to Nackson the Sexy Guy. Islamic concerns did not bode well with parading Dauda as the Sexy Guy!
Beyond the wild romps of Nackson, Lolly magazine boasted of a back page that highlighted the libidinous taxi driver Lewis who without any explanation eventually turned into a medical doctor!
That’s Lolly magazine for you, a world where anything can happen. Nackson can even do it inside a matchbox!
Lewis’ maltreated wife Comfort also indulges in her own affairs with her man-about-town Dele. There’s no morality in sight!
It is only in Lolly that one can experience the bride enjoying the sex act with the best man between the church and the reception!
The publishers of Lolly could indeed be very troublesome. In one edition they ran the headline “Nackson Nacks Climax Editor”.
Incidentally there was a magazine called Climax back then which was edited by a very beautiful lady who happened to be a dear friend and sister of mine!
In his usual “Abbey’s Column”, the publisher displayed a womanizing propensity not unlike that of Nackson, even as he claimed not to be publishing pornography.
There was no breaking news about hate speech in those roaring days of yore. People could get away with murder in the publishing of nonsense and all sorts.
Even so, people had strange fun at the foibles. There was enough laughter to spread around. The humour of Lolly was of the slapstick stuff, but who cared? The lovers of Lolly always eagerly waited for each new edition.
As a cartoon character, Nackson the Sexy Guy had lots of disciples in the wider world. The randy men in society saw in him a never-say-die hustler who always got the job done.
It was a taboo for the younger ones to be seen with copies of Lolly magazine. But the kids always managed to steal copies bought by their uncles and read them in hidden corners. It was not uncommon to see the teenagers placing a copy of Lolly inside a normal newspaper thereby confusing any observer into believing that he or she was actually reading the newspaper!
All through history all banned subjects actually ended up becoming more popular. This was what happened with Lolly. No parent worthy of his or her name would have wanted copies of the magazine in their house. But somehow Lolly travelled far and wide, hence my writing of the defunct magazine here!
To cap it all up, there is this very fine friend of mine, a top executive in Abuja, who is today still known to all of us his mutual friends as Dauda, alias Nackson the Sexy Guy!