So, last night I had a dream, a naughty dream, the kind of dream that gets you in trouble.
The dream reminded me of what happened to my friend last year. Dude was sleeping and his wife, feeling ROMANTIC, took her lips to his nipples and as he felt her lips encircle his nipple, bobo began calling the name of his side chick.
Madam took a bite!
Ehen. So, in my dream I saw Femi G. You know Femi G na. Yes, that Femi G.
In the dream, Femi G had a pile of newspapers in front of him and plenty online news platforms were open on his laptop and phones. The man was sweating.
After reading all the papers and online news insulting him for buying a N75m abi N100m or is it N200m G wagon for his wife (Naijaa press doesnt care about correct figures o), the man was tired so he just called his wife, asked her to bring the car keys.
“Sally honey, we need to get rid of this car. It’s not worth all the fuss.”
And having spoken thus, he drove the G-wagon to a car dealership and offered it for sale.
“We have only N20m o,” the car dealer told him.
“Bring it,” Femi G said to the car dealer as he wiped off sweat. “This G-wagon will not kill me.”
The car dealer asked for his account number. Femi G gave him. He made a transfer. Femi G saw the alert. They shook hands and Femi G left for home.
Then as he went home in a 2004 Corolla Uber taxi, Femi G asked the Uber driver to put on the radio. The driver put on the radio and the first news shocked Femi G.
“Welcome to the news at 4. News reaching us has it that Femi G, The House of Reps member who has been in the eye of the storm following his birthday gift of a G-wagon to his wife has sold the vehicle. Ten minutes after selling the car, something dramatic happened. The Nigerian foreign reserves jumped from $46bn to $76bn. Nigeria’s domestic debt fell from N4trillion to N1.2trillion. The NSE all share index went up to 50,000 points, beating the old record of 42,000. The Abacha loot was returned with $18m interest and finally, all the beggars in Surulere saw N1m each in their begging bowls. This is a developing story and we will bring you updates as we have them.”
The uber driver not realizing that his passenger was none other than the same Femi G whose singular act of selling his wife’s birthday gift had saved the Nigerian economy looked in the mirror and said “Oga you see, God go bless that Femi G man. I even heard that he bought buses and keke marwa for people in Surulere. God go bless that man.”
Femi G looked at the man and said “Amen o.”
The end and to God be the Glory.