A woman who gets pregnant for another man in her husband’s house is called a…?
I knew the first day my wife became pregnant; she was not throwing up like she did with the first pregnancy.
Our little boy was just two then and my wife and I were not even on talking terms months prior. She was in the kitchen that day when I saw she had this strange glow around her. I say strange because I didn’t want to have anything to do with the glow, it was as if it spelt doom, not joy.
My mind doesn’t deceive me. Something told me that day that she had taken in. A female banker who is in the marketing department…hmmn forget it!
See, I am not an okobo, I mean, I am not impotent. First, I am a lecturer at an Advanced College and I have been a teacher for the past 21 years. I’m not the type of lecturer who demands sex for marks. The worst thing I do as a lecturer is ask my students to buy my handouts as this constitutes 15% of their scores. How else do you think we teachers survive on our paltry salaries?
I am a lot older than my wife. She was my former student but the affair began when she finished school.
My wife works in a bank and she earns good money; we were in love and nothing mattered back then. We courted for almost five years but got married just three years ago. She paid the two years rent when we moved into our three-bedroom apartment; furnished it and though I supported, I couldn’t do much on a Lecturer’s salary. Besides, I am a man of modest means, while my wife being a banker, likes to have everything big: big TV, big fridge, big freezer, big car-big, big, big!
I took two separate loans from the school when we were about to get married, though I had a loan I was still servicing, the one I used to buy a jeep two years back. So, because I have two loans with payback deducted from source, I hardly could take anything home at the end of every month.
This put an initial pressure on my marriage because it meant I couldn’t even drop a dime at home. What I earned would go to NEPA, fuel and something to keep in my pocket. I depended on my wife for living; you know, food, the baby that was coming at that time, generator, etc.
Of course we began to quarrel a lot; you can imagine, a young marriage and we were fighting over everything already. After a while, just a few weeks before my baby was born, I was forced to do the needful, I began to demand money off students who wanted to pass. Like I said, I am not the type who demands for sex, how many female students will I sleep with? I had a wife whom I satisfied anytime she was ready; all I needed was money to take care of my family. So I began to make demands of my students- pay or fail.
It worked for a while, our students are mostly lazy. Only the lazy ones would pay, the diligent ones had nothing to fear from me but they must buy my handouts, though.
Life wasn’t rosy, despite all these extortions, yes, I am smart enough to know what I was doing was wrong but our baby had arrived and as the man in the house, I wanted to take care of my responsibilities, baby diapers cost a lot! Baby food! Don’t even go there and this boy of mine eats a lot. Before you blink, his milk is finished!
He is a boy that eats like his father and I am so thrilled about him, I want to give him the best; I didn’t have a father to do much for me. So, you understand why I want to at least try for my son.
Of course I also tried to ensure I fuelled my wife’s car, pay the nanny, pay this, pay that…before you know it, all the money is gone and I am flat broke again!
Things became even harder for me again when some of my students went to report me to the College authorities about the money I demanded for marks.
Was I ashamed? Yes. As a father and a husband, I had to do what I had to do but when the news that I had been reported leaked, I felt shame.
I faced a disciplinary committee; I pleaded with them, told them I had to find a way to keep my family together. I begged that I would desist from it. I was pardoned and I stopped.
So, every time I get home and the nanny says, baby food is finished or diaper is finished or PHCN cut light or no fuel for generator…I would be incensed!
The reason is because it kills me to see I can’t truly provide for my own son!
My wife pays for it all and she just bitches about it! Suddenly there was never anything I could do right with my wife; it must end up in quarrel.
If I pick up my boy to play with him, it is wahala, if I don’t pick him up, it is trouble. As you can also guess, za oza room was also out of question…for months, then one year, two years… young marriage o! I was completely frustrated.
Things were definitely not ok with us; she worked late and it was always about meeting her targets.
I stayed out late because to be home means the nanny would tell me all the things that have finished in the house. My wife and I had stopped talking to each other for more than 8 months! We were only going through the motions because of our little boy.
You know, in every neighbourhood, there will always be one tatafo, it was he who called one day, while I was in class to tell me my wife had packed all her things and was moving out!
I wasn’t shocked; but when I got to an empty home that day; I felt utterly and completely empty.
I called her parents, they had no idea what I was talking about; I then called her sister, she was pretending to be clueless. I said, I just want to find out if my wife and kid are ok.
Her reply was “I am sure they are.”
I said, “Goodnight, give them my love.”
Days later. I found out where my wife was. She had moved in with a divorced man who lives in Banana Island. He is rich and owns flats all over Lagos. And you know the worst part? Shortly after, I heard she traveled abroad to have a baby.
Yes, you heard me right. That day I saw my wife glowing was the day she became pregnant and just as something felt off when I saw her in that light. It can’t be my child because I told you we stopped communication and sex way back. So, she was pregnant for another man’s child in my house!
Oh well, as for the house, I couldn’t pay the rent after our rent expired, I have moved to the campus staff quarters. I have gone back to where I came from. I just wish to see my son, he has been ferried abroad as well; I worry, will he know me? Will he know I tried my best?
(Series written and edited by Peju Akande and based on true stories)