Dear Nigerian, can you please mind your business – Lucia Edafioka

One of the many things Nigerians are good at is the ability to give unsolicited advice. This is why comment sections on blogs are like war theatres. When I first moved to Lagos, there was this woman who stopped me…

‘Adulting’ in Lagos is hard – Lucia Edafioka

Life is hard, life in Nigeria is Hard, and in Lagos it is HARD, you gerrit? These past weeks there is no day that goes by that I don’t think of my mummy. Yes, you can call me tata but…

If you live in Lagos, you must learn how to pray – Lucia Edafioka

If you live in Lagos, you must learn how to pray. Stepping out of the house feels like, God I am going out again, see me through. Anything can happen, from trailers falling on people, to Lagbuses crushing people standing…

Lagos people and the evil spirit of impatience – Lucia Edafioka

They say there are spirits everywhere, and that these spirits influence the general aura of a place. In Abuja they say it’s the spirit of runs girl, sugar daddy and mummy; and in Warri, it’s the spirit of gra gra,…

Lagosians are suffering from lack of HUGS – Lucia Edafioka

A hug, according to wiki, is an international form of physical intimacy in which two people put their arms around the neck, back or waist of one another and hold each other closely. If more than two persons are involved,…

Beware of the PA to the Holy Spirit – Lucia Edafioka

Have you met the Personal Assistant to the Holy Spirit? The one who also doubles as the Personal Assistant to the Trinity? This special somebody decides who goes to heaven and hell. There are plenty sef, more than one. You…

See o, rape is now a joke – Lucia Edafioka

I returned home one evening to find my neighbour’s son kneeling outside their house bawling, tears and mucus running down his face, his lungs working overtime. Me: Why is Ike crying? Who beat him like this? My aunty: Don’t mind…

Chai, Naija men have problems o – Lucia Edafioka

So, last week I was at a wedding, minding my business (as usual) when a man came to talk to me. The conversation went like so: Man: Ah, you are so beautiful Me: *amused* I know Man: *frowns* That is…

See what breast caused inside danfo – Lucia Edafioka

You know how you hear things happening in different countries and you swear they will never happen in Lagos? For example, in Trump’s America and other western countries we hear of people, men and women alike complaining about mothers’ breastfeeding…

Ikoyi, Lekki and Victoria Island are not part of Lagos o – Lucia Edafioka

So, I have this friend who is always saying Lagos is ‘not that bad.’ She was one of those people I talked about last week who are begging Ambode not to remove danfos from the roads because they are culturally…

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