You see this Lagos vs Abuja matter that recently trended on social media? Let us not even try to do ojoro; dem beat Lagos like thief. Jehovah!
I didn’t realise that Abuja people can remove suit, pull agbada, tear danshiki like Hulk and come down from Mercedes Benz and provoke like this? Haba na, na play we Lagos people dey play o. You can’t just come down from your duplex for Asokoro and start demolishing houses at Makoko.
Is that how you use to do?
How can somebody say “in Lagos, an agbero will snatch a policeman’s phone, and the policeman would have to gather all the conductors and agberos in the area to goan beg the senior agbero for his SIM card back?”
That’s what sha happens when the hailing hailers whisper to the butterfly, ‘baba, you dey fly pass eagle o’ and instead of facing its business of sucking nectar, e go dey find snake to chop. In its mind now it haff turn to Super Eagle. See how they swallowed it alive then vomited it to swallow it again, because the first time no good.
Baba Buhari, are you seeing this? Hailers will just lead you to destruction.
Lagos people, what exactly do you want to use to proud?
Lagos traffic? Ok, you wan use suffer head do shakara for people who have roads wide enough for aeroplane to land? With your ordinary two lane that’s always congested? Abi you want to use Cleaner Lagos to boast? With those piles and piles of refuse littering everywhere? No, wait, Lagos people want to use Lagos Island do ‘we better pass’ for Abuja. Lagos Island that ordinary 5 minutes rain, Ambo baba will set up committee on Flood Control?
Oh, Lekki. That one that is still learning work from Maitama.
The most annoying part in all this brouhaha is that Ikorodu and Agege residents are chooking mouth to yab Abuja. Even Mushin and Ajegunle refugees are joining. Why do you people like embarrassing us like this na. Shebi if they now start to call Lagos a glorified slum because of you people, scores will enter 50-0 like India beating Nigeria for football?
But as a born-in-Lagosian, I must throw Abuja small stone and run before dem catch me use me practice savagery. See ehn, Abuja is just an agbaya. Forming tush and developed. Come o, J.Cole come Abuja? Una get Bar Beach for Abuja? Better bend-down-and-select market even dey Abuja? No be Lagos Abuja girls dey come buy cloth they will now go on Instagram and use to form designer clothing? Abuja where they will use their last card to buy motor and use form big boys while squatting in Gwaglawada! Pretenders!