Musings on the trolling culture and how to handle trolls
You post a picture on social media, maybe a selfie you posed for several times until you got the right angle or perhaps your beautiful baby’s picture. You take time editing the picture so it pops: dem go hear am. Then finally, you write one of those cute captions that make you seem like a philosopher or a thought leader, you know, something esoterically simple. Yes, what an oxymoron. You are happy and wait for the comments. Everyone should know the picture is giving all it should.
Your besties post comments first: the regular oohs and aahs, and encouraging compliments start pouring in. Some even share your picture on their profiles with endearing captions. More notifications start pouring in and you begin to see some comments from people you don’t know:
- “Fat girl feeling funky, Orobo, why are you so fat?”
- “See this one thinks he is a bloke with that his big head like National Theatre”
- “You must be an irresponsible mother for taking a picture of your child wearing a nappy and posting it online”
- “Who lied to you that you are fine? Better go and buy a mirror and tell yourself the truth”
- “You posted this ugly picture and made your friends write nice things about you. Are they your friends if they cannot tell you the truth? Well, I won’t lie to you, your teeth are horrible and next time, cover your forehead”.
I have seen comments like these on social media posts. Comments that people, who are most likely strangers, wrote on random people’s posts. I spent quite some time discussing this trolling behaviour with a friend and we wondered why people troll others. Our conversation also reminded me of the last time I encountered a troll.
A friend of mine had posted a picture of herself and her husband on Instagram, like a soft launch only that this picture was after their wedding and not before. This friend is fairly popular in society so many people had heard that she had gotten married but hadn’t seen her husband’s face and were curious. The comments section of the post was on fire. Predictably, there were all sorts of comments about the post especially because she had said some things in the caption that could be termed controversial.
Whilst scrolling through the comments, I saw a particularly hurtful and disrespectful comment. I decided to respond to it, be my friend’s superhero and rescue her from at least one silly troll. Oh had I known! I can’t remember the person’s initial comment nor do I remember what my response was but I do remember the troll’s response to my comment. He or she (or maybe “it” because they were hidden behind a burner account with no name and no personal pictures) left a long response and ended it by calling me a “low-budget Alibaba with your thick afro and ugly glasses”. I was consumed with laughter! I didn’t even think that I looked like Alibaba, the comedian and entertainment guru, in the first place so I wasn’t sure whether it was an insult or a compliment. I couldn’t dignify the irritant with an insult so I asked “it” why “it” just didn’t make that comment with its actual account instead of hiding behind a faceless account. Predictably, silence ensued.
Ever since social media became mainstream with many people making it an extension of their lives, some people have made it their life’s purpose to irritate and upset others. They make comments or even share posts deliberately targeted at making people angry or doubtful about themselves, either for the fun of it or with malicious intent. And they do it, either behind faceless accounts or with their full identity.
Chances are, if you are fairly active on social media, you have been trolled or you have seen people get trolled. It has sadly become a part of our online culture and experience. If you think about it, trolling is not a new thing. It is a form of bullying and bullies have always existed since time immemorial. Whereas one can very often identify their bully because such encounters require physical contact, a troll may sometimes not be known even though their impact may be obvious. Since social media offers a measure of anonymity, many have used that advantage to say or do things that they ordinarily would never dare to say to another person’s face.
Why do people troll others? Why do they say mean and hurtful things about others? Granted, some of the things trolls say are probably things that flow through the minds of others as well but many have the good sense to keep those thoughts to themselves. Why do trolls allow such things to escape from their minds? What is the motivation for trolling another person?
My first thought is jealousy. The troll sees their victim happy and desires to have what they have. They wish they could be the ones with happy homes, beautiful children, and whatever good things they see, but because it’s not them, they express their hatred. Maybe deep down, they know they can never have what they are jealous of because they are either not nice people or they can never put in the work required to get the very thing they are jealous of. The irony is that they may be jealous of their target without knowing their true story, their struggles and challenges, and the silent frustrations such people are dealing with.
My next thought is that trolls lack joy in their lives. Because of this, they choose to spread their sadness to others so that they do not wallow in whatever hopelessness they are in, all by themselves. Some people would rather focus on remaining in their sad state than getting inspired. They would not be satisfied until others are as sad as they are. I am not sure why that is but it seems fairly common these days.
Trolls survive because people give them too much attention. When you spend time responding to a troll, measure for measure, you are only going low when you should remain high. Trolls draw their energy from heated interactions and their success is determined by how reactionary they can get their victims to become. When people do not also deal decisively with trolls, it emboldens them to repeat such bad behaviour continuously. I have seen some skits and maybe some real-life stories where people traced their trolls and confronted them, sometimes taking things into their own hands. I do not advocate for violence though but not everyone is as level-headed as I am. Some have also been known to report the troll to the police.
Ignoring trolls or not dealing with them may be easier said than done for some people. Unfortunately, many people allow themselves to succumb to troll activity, especially young people who have grown up with social media. Older people who experienced life before social media may probably be less susceptible to trolls since they could have learnt to build resilience. Anyway, I have decided to open a troll retaliation agency. If you are being trolled or know anyone who is, direct them my way. For a small fee, I will do my research, fish out the troll, and make sure they answer for their bad behaviour. I promise to provide an affordable service.
If you encounter a troll, whatever you do, do not feed into their bad energy. Ignore them or respond with commonsense. If they have sense, they will get the message, if not, too bad. Focus on building strong character and resilience so that if you are ever attacked by a troll, you can treat them like water off a duck’s back. This is the way I see things today.