I have always been a wild child!
My ex-husband is a quiet man, usually doesn’t like doing anything crazy and in our marriage, of over 15 years, I had been the crazy one. And I have been this wild since I was at school so it’s not like it started today.
I had my hair dyed red shortly after secondary school. Throughout my university days, I moved from red to blonde to skin cut to…whatever I fancied. I had a nose ring at one time, in fact!
When I met my husband, who was just a friend and course mate then, I was like that…I drank with the boys, partied hard and had multiple partners. I didn’t hide who I was.
We met again when we began to work, incidentally at the same work place…I had an affair with one of my bosses and everyone in the office knew…that’s how come Akin, (my ex-husband) let’s just call him that, I can’t reveal his real name, please.
Akin called me and told me I was being talked about in the office. He wanted me to end the affair and since he had always being a friend, I did just that. The boss was married anyway and my promotions, twice in three years was attributed to me dating him….see, no matter how bad I am, I work hard! I do not use bottom power to get up the ladder.
Anyway, to prove to myself that I could equally get promoted anywhere I worked, I resigned and moved to another company. And in two years, I was promoted! I may be crazy but I get brain and I’m not afraid of hard work!
Anyway, that was when Akin and I began to date.
Believe me when I say, I totally left my wandering ways and focused on my boyfriend, I had no mind to follow men about, I stayed on this guy who had been my friend from school, Akin.
We got married, had a daughter and all was well for a few years.
I never stopped dressing crazy, doing my hair crazy or painting my nails in wild colours.
Now, because of all the rumours I moved to another company and being promoted to a certain level meant I had to travel for work. I traveled out of Nigeria for work; Ghana, SA, Egypt, America…
Now, my quiet husband was always jealous whenever I needed to travel.
He would ask me if I told my bosses I was a married woman. If they knew I had a child to care for. If it they thought it was ok to send a married woman for days out of her station…
I was like, “ It’s my job! When they pay me the salary they do, do I say, I am married and have a child, this money is too much. I work hard for the position I occupy and I am proud of my achievements and you should be, too!”
Biko ask me, did I put myself in the line of travel?
It was my job, part of my job to travel and oversee things for the company I work for. But you see whenever I returned, he would just stop talking to me for days.
Anyway, I went on this trip to South Africa a few years before Covid hit and our client, after the usual meetings invited us to town…we stopped at a tattoo palour.
I have always wanted a tattoo, to be honest. My grandmother had on her arms and legs…you know, Laali? Those olden days
So I wanted one but didn’t want it in a place that would be so visible. I was also hesitant because, you know South Africa has a high rate of HIV; I was like, let me not go and get infected because of tattoo, o.
But the guy who runs the palour was certified ok by our client and so, I went there the next day to get a small tattoo.
I got one on my butt; a huge flower with my husband’s nickname woven around it.
You, know, I did this because things had progressively gone bad between my husband and I mainly because of my job and constant travels. I travelled a lot and much as I would have loved for roles to be swapped, we needed the money I was making. He too was employed but my salary was twice his…add my benefits too. So, yes, I was doing a lot better but I never stuck it in his face.
Anyway, I got the tattoo, right across my two cheeks; it hurt but I thought it would please him and help him see that as far as I was concerned, he was my No 1.
I got home, a few days later, showered, and got into bed with him and began to gyrate, so that I would later reveal the tattoo to him.
When I eventually showed him, you know, my back was turned, I was busy wriggling my waist so he would be enticed …
No words came.
I whipped around when he said, “Who did this a man or woman?”
I went like, huh?
“So you stripped yourself naked in front of strangers to get a stupid tattoo!”
I dried up right to my mouth!
I said, “So that’s all you see, that I stripped naked! You don’t see your name? You don’t see the love that drove me to tattoo your name on my private part?”
I mean an educated man like him should understand the effort it took to have his name permanently on my butt.
That night, I slept in the living room because one heavy fight started that night.
He accused me of so many things and I was speechless because you see, when we began to date, I told him all the atrocities I had committed while single and seriously I am not ashamed. I lived my life like that when single. Yes, I dated married men, yes I did an abortion, yes, I slept with a few other guys while dating other guys…I did them before I got married and I stopped after marriage but it seems my sins would forever follow me.
He had bottled up all his feelings and that day, my ears almost came off, because of tattoo?
Anyway, I moved out a few days after. You know, a lot of things came up when we fought that night and we said unimaginable things to one another…would you believe he told me the reason we couldn’t have more children was because I ruined my ovaries?
Haa, it was painful!
See me see wahala? I will erase his name and leave the other design because truly like my tattoo.
Will I go back to him?
No. I don’t think so.
I’m still as crazy as they come, look, I’m dating a guy 7 years younger than me and I turn 50 this year…biko, I will live my life this New Year jare!