I turned 50 a few weeks back and I caught the Covid-19 Delta variant at my own party.
My wife had organized what she termed a “surprise party” for me. Before then, I had told her I didn’t want to have a party, all I wanted was “something quiet,” to host a few friends…I was scared of contacting Covid-19.
It was at that time the government announced that large groups be avoided and so, that was enough reason for me to say, “no party.” But my wife had other plans; she had invited no less than 120 people to a birthday party she told me was a “small party” and so I had no choice but to be a part of.
As for me, I hate getting sick. I hate catching infections I can well avoid. I hate germs, I hate dirty environments, I hated it even before Covid-19 when people would cluster together and be talking into each other’s faces…I just cringe when people get too close to me …you know spit and all that…the only person I tolerate that close is my wife.
Following day after my party, my wife began to cough!
We had both taken our first jabs, so we weren’t thinking Covid-19. I bought her Zithromax and expected the cough to subside in a few days. I also didn’t think I was in any danger of contacting anything from her so I didn’t take any precautions. I was kissing her, eating with her spoon, drinking from the same bottle of drink she took…she’s my wife, na!
I didn’t catch the cough and her cough increased by the day.
But on the third morning, while still in bed, I reached for my wife and began to kiss her; she coughed in my face, I remember telling her no matter how hard she tried, I would not catch that cough.
Now, when I want to kiss my wife in the morning for instance, I go brush before doing it and if her breath isn’t fresh, I ask her to brush so we can enjoy a long kiss. Anyway, why am I talking about kissing?
I was kissing her so passionately and wondering why I wasn’t complaining about her breath especially when she pushed me away saying she hadn’t brushed…
“I don’t smell anything, come close joo, let me kiss you well…” why is the woman running away, shouldn’t I be the one who should be grossed out?
I got up to make tea and realized I couldn’t smell the ginger in my tea and the Earl grey, which I always smelled. I remember telling my wife, “I think this ginger has gone bad, o.”
Later that morning when my wife brought me my breakfast, I wondered loudly, “How come I didn’t smell the food from the kitchen?”
You see me, I can smell a stinking armpit miles away, my nose is that sensitive.
But that morning, until she put the food right in front of me, I didn’t smell a thing. And this woman, she always burned her food. I am the one always calling her attention to the food she is cooking in the kitchen because if she doesn’t burn the food, she hasn’t started …she serves me “burnt offerings” everyday…what can I do about it but eat?
This time, as usual, she burnt the food and I didn’t even smell it!
That was when I began to suspect I might have caught Covid-19, o!
So I began to sniff around, I went to the kitchen and opened our pot of soup…no smell.
I went to meet my wife in the bathroom, she was in the toilet, normally, I would run once she sat on the toilet seat…no smell, in fact, I was having a conversation with her right in the toilet and she was doing her best to send me away.
At first it was kind of cool, you know, since there was no feverish conditions attached, it was just not smelling, abi?
By the evening of that day, I was getting feverish when everyone was saying the weather was hot.
I began to sneeze…and my nose began to run afterwards.
Then a nasty headache set in…it was no longer cool…it got scary.
I called my doctor friend and told him my symptoms…he said, “Bros, e bi like say you don catch the Delta variant o.” He promised to come to my house to conduct an Antigen rapid tests on me and my wife.
When Doc came the following day, he was all covered, the only thing he didn’t wear was protective gear but he was covered from head to toe; mask, gloves…as if he was entering a contaminated area.
I said, “Doc, what is the meaning of all these cover-up? He replied; “Bros I no wan take chances. I suspect you have contacted Covid from the super spreader party you threw on Friday; five others who attended your party have Covid…”
My mouth was left hanging!
Chai, this woman has got me into trouble!
Now, I am someone who wore my mask religiously, washed my hands often and as much as I can, keep my distance from people…but I had a birthday bash thrown for me three days before, people came, we danced, we hugged, we shook hands, we ate and drank…I caught Covid-19!
However, our result from the rapid test was negative!
The doctor said, “The delta variant deceives people, it can keep saying negative but you have caught the virus. Your symptoms are consistent with the Delta variant!”
The doctor prescribed Zithromax and cough syrup and anti-malarial drugs which my wife and I began to take but my symptoms persisted for almost 7 days.
Over the cause of these 7 days, I was so sick, I didn’t think it could be any other thing but Covid-19. So my wife and I isolated at home… but as she began to get better, I got sicker…my nose was constantly runny.
I lost my appetite for food and my wife used that excuse of me not being able to smell or taste food to burn more food, knowing I won’t be able to smell a thing or even know what food tastes like!
Anyway. I survived and I can smell again. Guess how I knew I was back? I smelt the burnt food she was cooking…I am back to complaining about how she burns our food all the time and when she enters the toilet, I run for cover!
(Series written and edited by Peju Akande and based on true stories)