I know it sounds stupid, silly, and crazy, in fact but that’s what is happening right now.
Before now, I would never have described myself as bisexual or a lesbian, no, let’s not use the word lesbian, I think it’s derogatory. I am one with a preferred sexual orientation. Yeah, I experimented when I was much younger in my all girls secondary school but we were just kids, then.
I would never have described myself other being a woman in my late 40s, divorced with grown children schooling abroad and has a boyfriend in his mid-50s.
But I am a different person today because…I met my boyfriend’s ex-wife and we became a thing. Let me step back a bit and give you context.
I met my boyfriend last year, shortly after we resumed normal life after all the lock down issues. I was traveling to see my children abroad and needed to do a Covid test. We met at the medical centre designated by government; he too was traveling but for business.
At the medical centre, we both complained about the lackadaisical attitude of the medial team, the partiality displayed when certain “big” people were allowed to jump the queue to the detriment and delay by several hours, of several of us.
You know the general noise we make as Nigerians when we are kept too long for a procedure that shouldn’t take so much time.
That’s how Pep, that’s his nickname, and I connected.
I found out we were even traveling on the same flight.
When we met at the departure lounge again; we chatted before we boarded our flights. I found him… well, I found him charming. I knew he was divorced, so was I but we also connected on different levels. We exchanged phone numbers because now that we had met twice, it seemed logical to want to continue the acquaintance.
When we both returned to Nigeria, at different times, of course, he invited me to an art exhibition. That’s when we really kicked it off.
I got to know his wife left him after 10years, she was a much younger woman, she was 13 years younger than him, and I remember calling him a cradle snatcher.
We began to go out regularly and soon, you know, sex…well, isn’t that the whole point of it?
Nah, I’m just joking. I enjoyed his company and he too, mine…we were good together until one day, he told me his ex-wife was in town. She had moved abroad with their twin sons after their divorce. He said she had come to pick up some items she left behind in their house.
I had no problem with that.
Now, fortunately or not, the day she was to come, Pep was out of town and so he called me to go open the house for his ex to get her stuff!
I didn’t like that idea at all!
I balked, I said, “Why don’t you call any of your friends to do this?”
He had called but the few he was close to were unavailable.
He assured me his ex was not a troublesome woman plus she had no idea who I was…that still didn’t sit well with me, but after so much talk, I felt like, “Babes, what’s wrong with you, scared of a lil girl, are you?”
So I went!
When she knocked on the door, I sprang up to open it and beheld the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen!
She smiled and aplogised for the inconvenience.
I mumbled something and moved to let her in.
Her skin was practically glowing, her dimples, so sexy, as she brushed past me, I felt the hairs on my arms rise.
Wetin be dis!
She went on about the traffic, about the heat in Nigeria, about the way things had changed and yet so very still the same…
I was following her about and liking everything about her.
She had on natural locks, no makeup and light coloured nails…I liked everything about her.
Then she turned and looked at me long and smiled, “You are Pep’s new girlfriend…I like you.”
“I like you, too.”
We sat down to chat.
Before long, she moved from the single seater she was to me on the double seater. She touched my hand, I held her and then she kissed me.
She said, “I have never felt this way with any one before.”
In my mind, I said, “me too.”
I had never kissed a woman before then; I had never held a woman like that before then
I wasn’t comfortable so I pulled back but didn’t wipe her lips off mine…we stared at each other and hugged and kissed again!
I’m not giving out the rest of the details and I’m not saying this so you can think, “oh, useless woman, hear the nonsense she is saying…”
This wasn’t planned.
The thing to ask is, ‘was I always like this?’
I went to an all-girls school and we experimented with sex among ourselves, it was the safest sex because you will never be pregnant. But after school, I didn’t practice that sort of thing. I got married, had kids, got divorced and Pep would be the second relationship, after my divorce.
And as for her, she told me the reason she divorced Pep was because she discovered her dual sexuality.
Ok. That explains a lot of things.
You asked me, “Where are we now?”
Well, I continued to see Pep and his ex-wife though I must say, it’s a good thing she lives abroad and I, here so I would say what we had was a fling. A fling that lasted two and a half months with chances of continuing. We call and chat for several hours
Pep suspected nothing, while she was around, we met his ex at my own place.
You’re asking me, what plans we have.
Who are “we” here? Pep and I or Pep’s ex and I?
To answer that, I’ll say, either way, I feel I am cheating on one with the other. While his ex is cool with my relationship with him, Pep would lose it if he ever finds out.
So mum’s the word.
I don’t know if I will leave Pep, as I have no plans to relocate but I will see her whenever I travel abroad…I will definitely see her and she me, whenever she comes to visit Nigeria.
That’s all there is to it.
Have I been interested in other women since then?
I’ll say, I’m just curious, you know. Just curious.
(Series written and edited by Peju Akande and based on true stories)