I fell down the staircase; I missed my steps as I was climbing and went tumbling like a sack of potatoes. Luckily, I had no broken bones, just bruises. A few days after my fall I started having pains all over my body and expectedly, too.
Weeks after the fall, I was hobbling like an old woman; because even before then, I had suffered backache for some time so that fall made it all the more painful. One of my colleagues at work suggested I tried body massage. That’s how come I began to look for a spa.
So, I looked around and when I made enquires, the charges were bloody expensive for me. I was like, for wetin na? To just rub oil on my body you are charging me this amount? I can be a serious aroro, so I just waka comot.
Few weeks later, another colleague told me I should just do ordinary massage that there were professionals, who just did massage without all the Spa effizy. So I agreed to go to the so called professional masseuse
I went to this massage parlour somewhere in Festac. I live around there so, I wanted somewhere close to home.
At the place; I met with a man, the masseuse, who I judged to be in his mid-50s; normal build, not muscular like the masseuse we see in movies. He had a female assistant. He was dressed in a loose top and baggy pants. Now, as soon as I found out he was the masseuse, I wanted to ask for a female instead but when he pointed out his assistant, I felt, ok, there’s a woman here, there should be no problems.
I was taken to a room, the place where the massage is done, one bed; not bed, you know like a gurney but slightly bigger. I was asked to remove my clothes and given a bedsheet of sort, to cover myself. The female assistant was there as I removed my earrings, watch et al. I was asked to remove my pant as well; I took a shower and was told to lie on the bed.
I laid on the bed and covered myself with the sheet that was given to me. The lady said I should lie on my stomach. Then they began to play soft music and the room was slightly darkened.
I have never been to a massage parlor before, I just assumed this was their modus operandi. Besides, I had heard that when they massage you, you will be so relaxed, you could even fall asleep. Me, I was ready, I was anxious for them to get rid of all the aches and pains I was feeling from my head down to my toes.
The man came in, spoke softly and told me he would start from my head; that is back of my neck down. He asked me to relax and that I would be feeling better very soon.
I relaxed and he began working on my nape, he was using some oil that had some menthol, I don’t know the name of the oil but I was ready for it.
As he was working, my nape, down my back, he was touching aching points I didn’t even know was there. He was kneading the muscles and before I knew what was going on, I was sighing, I was sighing with pure joy, pure relief. It was as if he knew where to touch, which muscle ached and I was just purring like a satisfied cat.
I had to keep apologizing, I said, “Please, I am new to this o, forgive me but I can’t help the sound coming from my throat.”
He just told me to continue as this helped him to know he was getting results. So I purred away…
As he worked my back, the sheet of course kept moving and as I said, his female assistant was there.
When he got to my waist, where I had so much pain before, he just began to work my side, down to my buttocks and me, I am amply blessed…that was when I began to feel slightly aroused.
Ask me say wetin dey do me?
The relief I was feeling was so much that I was almost wriggling like a worm on the bed and I even farted twice to my shame!
The two of them just laughed and told me to relax that I shouldn’t bother; so he worked more on my waist and bum.
Hummn. From my bum, back of my thighs…he was working miracles. My calves and heels that ached like mad were being kneaded and I began to moan again.
It felt soooo gooood!
My sister…I don’t know at what point the female assistant left the room; I suspect I may have dozed off because I was just at peace, no aches or pain. Then when the masseuse told me to turn on my back so he could work my front, I realize we were alone in the room. At this time; I didn’t feel any inhibitions, I mean, person wey don see my bum, waxed my thighs, I felt a few times his fingers slip close to my puxxy, wetin remain?
I just told myself, he is like a male doctor examining me and at age 40plus, my breasts weren’t exactly as perky as they used to be, I didn’t think I was attractive enough, so…
I turned and bared myself; he then covered my upper body, told me softly that he would start with my legs. I closed my eyes as soon as he began with my toes; of course, he wasn’t just using hands, he had oils, you know. Ok, so he worked my toes, my shin, my thighs…that’s when I began to moan again…I swear, it wasn’t planned. I was just feeling my muscles relax and…my inner thigh, my …that was when I began to get wet…chai, see my life outside!
I was flowing like a dam.
My husband can’t get me wet it is a masseuse…
I was asking myself: Dem jazz you? You dey mad? Craze dey worry you? But I was answering: ohhh but this feels so good, this is so damned good oooohhh booooyyyy! I may have wriggled a bit but I tell you what, I was feeling well waxed!
But at some point, you know, with my breasts flat and lying like half sucked oranges on my chest, I was wondering, how hin go do this part?…I hoped he would skip the breasts and move to my shoulders…abi breasts get muscle?
I became aware of his hands working upwards…’gathered’ me, as in, my breasts…as in full handling of my falling oranges and began to massage….chai! I have spoil!
You know in a split second, I was shocked, then not shocked because I mean, person wey lie down with open breasts…what did I expect?
But I was also shocked because he was handling my breasts like… you know, like eggs…careful, massage, rubbing them, caressing my nipples…I swear, this thing I am telling you.
Now because I had never done this before, nor researched, in my mind, I was like, maybe this is how they do it o, don’t be a bush woman, just relax…but again, I was like…come sef, where is that stupid female assistant…?
He was working my breasts and I was still flowing like a dam down there o; my husband must never hear this…
So, I kind of moved my hand, you know like, let me adjust kind of… because I was feeling one kind, as I moved, my hand brushed him…hhheeeennn, the man had a massive erection under all that kembe he was wearing…that was when I knew something was going on o…
My dear sister, na so I begin talk to myself…what if he climbs on you, na dia you go dey, dey open mouth, he will put it in your mouth when he is done with your pxxxy…upon all the warning my mind was warning me…I didn’t get up o…. my body wanted it but my mind was screaming obscenities at me…
I won’t tell you who won; mind or body; go and be guessing.
(Series written and edited by Peju Akande and based on true stories)