So, I am heading back to the Island when I look at my fuel gauge and realise I am on red, so I ease off to the slow lane and stop at the Mobil filling station in Gbagada.
As soon as I roll down my window to speak to the attendant, this Hausa man thrusts his tray of stuff in my face. The first pack is obviously an aphrodisiac, ‘Manly Power’ it says and on the pack is a man with an incredibly large penis.
“Thank you,” I say laughing and wondering what a man with dick that large would have to do with an aphrodisiac. Before he got all that thing in the woman would have collapsed or come twice.
The attendant finished selling to the car in front, a Kia Sportage and I eased off on my pedal as I prepared to move into place. But the car did not move. Instead the door opened and a woman in a short wrap-skirt and tank top came out.
She walked to my window and said “Mr. Oshoko.”
It was a statement and accusation all at once. I know women well enough to know when they are not just hailing you.
The face was familiar but there wasn’t instant recognition.
“Help me,” I said smiling.
“Jackie from Protea hotel, Port Harcourt.”
That was when I remembered.
“Wow, the interior décor babe. Long time,” I said and I was beginning to open my door when the two cars behind me let go a deafening blast of horns.
“Let me get this and we will talk,” I said.
While my tank filled up I remembered our meeting, poolside at the hotel, five years earlier.
There had been a small fire that Saturday morning which left the hotel’s power system damaged. Left without light or AC or even tv, most of the guests found their way downstairs to the pool.
Jackie had the hottest body in that pool even though she was nowhere near the youngest. Legs, bum, boobs, she had it all and I was immediately drawn to her.
“This power issue isn’t good PR for the hotel,” I said as I walked up to her side while she wrapped a towel around her hips, the beads of water glistening on her bare skin.
“I know but it’s never happened before,” she told me as she got on a stool.
“Really. You come here that often?” I asked.
She was a long term guest at the hotel, she told me, in Port Harcourt to decorate 12 guest houses.
“That must be a pile,” I said as I settled onto the stool beside her.
She had on a sleeveless bikini top and it was a battle to keep my eyes on her face as we spoke.
“We bless God. It has been a good year.”
She accepted my offer to buy her a drink and ordered for a cocktail by the strange name of ‘Sex on the Beach’ but when I ordered for a chapman she said no.
“Barman, give him my other favourite, ‘Screw driver’.”
I looked up and she was staring at me like a hungry lion.
I knew something was going to go down and it did later that night when as we had a drink, she reached under the table, grabbed my dick and whispered softly: “Come to my room let me decorate your dick.”
Continues next week