Back in those days, students of Physical and Health Education (PHE) were said to be studying “Jumpology”.
Today Jumpology applies to politicians who jump from one party to party anyhow.
The word is a combination of “jump” – as in monkeys jumping from one tree to the other – and “ology” which translates to the knowledge or study of any subject.
In Nigerian politics ill-assorted politicians jump from one political party to the other without any regards whatsoever to principle or ideology or party manifesto.
Time was when the act used to be called carpet-crossing, but our politicians of today no longer merely cross the carpet; they jump, hence the advent of Jumpology.
The speed with which our politicians jump back and forth between the alphabet soup of APC and PDP in the country will surprise many monkeys.
It is my patriotic opinion that humans who can beat monkeys in the speed1q of the jump demand consummate attention, and that is why I am writing this humble article.
It is a matter of giddy celebration in the Change regime of the APC that the act of Jumpology by five PDP Governors aided the capture of power at the centre back in 2015.
This act of political prostitution, alias Jumpology, has since been canonised given that the APC chairman, the former comrade, Adams Oshiomhole, has formally proclaimed that the sins of all corrupt goons who jump into the ruling party will be forgiven.
So many political desperados have since jumped into the ruling party fold such that there are genuine fears that Nigeria may soon turn into a one-party state with a sole administrator in absolute charge of affairs.
Once a political jumpologist always, a political jumpologist!
A monkey does not only jump from tree to tree but can equally jump from branch to branch of one tree.
The case of present-day Nigerian politicians is not unlike the street lingo of “Fanta face and Coca-cola body” or to put it more explicitly: “APC face, PDP body.”
The confusion is yet to clear amongst Nigerian politicos about the aboriginal carpet-crossing incident of the September 24, 1951 election into the Western House of Assembly between Dr Nnamdi Azikiwe’s NCNC and Chief Obafemi Awolowo’s Action Group.
After many botched republics, military dictatorships, interim national governments, nascent democracies etc, Nigerian politicians have graduated from the lowly arts of carpet-crossing into the high science of Jumpology.
The role of the military in the jumping feats of the politicians must be understood in our national narrative of very unstable politicians.
Fela Anikulapo-Kuti made the song “Army Arrangement” as a pointer to the reality that what passes for democracy here is almost always jump-started with the kick of military boots.
Military subordination to civil authority which ought to define democracy has been subverted to read as civil subordination to military machinations.
The politicians must perforce read the body language of the military goons and jump in obedience to the coded orders.
For instance, when the coup that ended the Second Republic happened in the wee hours of the last day of 1983, Kole Omotoso wrote in his book Just Before Dawn that the irrepressible politician SG Ikoku, who had then jumped from the radical PRP into the conservative ruling National Party of Nigeria (NPN), told his wife not to lose any sleep as there was in reality no coup.
SG Ikoku explained that it was simply a case of the military wing of the NPN taking over from their wobbling civilian counterparts!
Call it Jumpology from Agbada to Khaki!
Nota Bene (NB): Buhari who toppled the civil NPN regime is back in power today…
It’s as though the military never left power, and the civilians who want to challenge them must perforce jump from party to party to ensure some footing.
Former Vice-President Atiku Abubakar has thus become a class act in Jumpology because his roll-call of parties could well accommodate all the letters of the English alphabet thusly: PDP, AC, ACN, PDM, APC, PDP, etc.
What started out as spittle has turned into a tidal wave as politicians of lesser stature have since fully embraced the “Jumpology” ethic, jumping from party to party in the wild embrace of the canonisation of political prostitution.
The sometime Senate Leader Victor Ndoma Egba once offered an apologia that the PDP was like the Catholic Church which people can quit at anytime only to come back at a later time.
The one difference, though, between the political parties and the Catholic Church is that Pope Francis does not lead anybody to swear to an oath of allegiance at Okija Shrine!
Now the APC has replaced PDP as the real McCoy in the Jumpology game.
Every Okafor, Otunba, Gambari, or Nengiowei is jumping into the APC.
Even Boko Haram has caught the Jumpology bug because any so-called reformed terrorist can jump into the Nigerian military.
Jumpology trumps as a Trojan horse as per recruiting any repented Boko Haram killer into the Nigerian military force.
That is the ultimate canonisation of political prostitution.