No one needs to know this but I cheated on my husband a few days before our white wedding. Am I proud of myself? No. So, why am I telling it?
He is also cheating on me, 8 years into our marriage and I know I have no one to blame but myself; karma is a real bitch!
Why did I cheat on him?
I had been dating a married man prior to meeting my boyfriend, who is now my husband. The man had been the friend of an uncle and he had helped me secure a job; he connected me with someone and that’s how I got that job. Anyway; one day, I was sick, I didn’t go to work, and he had come by to see his friend who was my boss. He asked after me and was told I didn’t show up because I was ill. He came to look for me at the place I was sharing with another friend of ours; he brought provisions, gave me I think, N5k then. That very day, even though I was just recovering from malaria, we had sex!
Ha! You’re asking me how that happened? I don’t know, how else do things like that happen? Maybe he used juju, I know he came into our two room apartment. I had one room to myself, my friend had the other. She was not back from work that day. There was a bed, I was in my nightie, not expecting anyone; he came; he hugged me, I was moved because no one had visited me or checked on me, since I had been ill. I was glad someone came so we hugged for long and before I knew it, my breast was in his mouth…plus I didn’t even have a boyfriend then, so what was stopping it?
Anyway, that’s how he began to come almost every day and I knew he was married but he came for sex and I needed the extra cash he gave.
Fast forward to say two years later and I met my husband, I was a chief bridesmaid and he was one of the groomsmen, that was how we connected. You know there are usually several rehearsals prior to the wedding where the chief bridesmaid and best man would rehearse a dance for that day? So, every time I showed up at the venue they used for rehearsals, I would see him there and that’s how we started a relationship.
I told the man I was seeing at that time that I had met a guy I was interested in and he said I should go ahead but that he must have priority over me. Oh yes, he told me that. I agreed because, at least we both knew our relationship wasn’t headed to the altar, why pretend it was?
I don’t want to tell this story for too long but the long and short of it is that one week to my wedding, the man insisted on having sex with me, he said since I would be Mrs. something, he knew he wouldn’t have access to me again. I agreed and I swear, I didn’t see anything wrong in it, even though I had done the traditional wedding, two weeks before we did the white wedding. I still went to meet him at one guest house for one final…final whatever you want to call it.
See, what was in my head was, we had been having sex even while I was dating my boyfriend, what’s one more got to do with it?
8 years down the line, I see it was wrong!
My husband is having sex with a girl about to get married and though I want to fight him, scream ‘ashawo’ at the girl…my conscience is too heavy for such accusations! It’s as if I am watching myself in a movie and seeing how totally wrong I was that time.
How did I know? I have been reading his text messages of late; I came across this latest one about the girl getting married and I just closed the phone and put it back where he left it on the table. It is see no evil, hear no evil for me. I can’t cast a stone where I myself messed up!
I have a three-year-old child and I am pregnant again, do I even need this snooping around sef?
(Series written and edited by Peju Akande and based on true stories)