This story is about a guy I dated years ago and this happened before the compulsory NIN registration and linking SIM with your other personal details.
I met him through a friend in church but he was a cult guy; I honestly didn’t know he was in the cult. Yes, cult guys go to church!
He was a nice guy; quiet, charming in fact; for instance, one time I introduced him to my uncle; the bobo was just bowing his head like agama lizard, smiling and saying, “I’m… I’m pleased sir….please sir…to meet you, sir…pleased.”
After my uncle had interrogated him like a policeman, my uncle told me privately that he was a good young man, and congratulated me for my choice of a boyfriend, he said, “you carry your eye go market, you got yourself a decent guy for a boyfriend, keep him well, o.”
I thought I had jammed a husband material.
But na one chance.
What happened?
We had been dating for almost one year when this happened. Ok, let me first say, in the course of our relationship, he told me about the girls he had dated before me and what led to their breakup; I also told him mine. You know in the true spirit of full disclosure.
So you know, once in a while, when we are being intimate, he would tell me he wanted to do a video, just for a few seconds to watch by himself when he had to travel or when he was in the office…I’ll honestly tell you, I was flattered. I didn’t think anything was wrong with it.
He was going to marry me; even my uncle saw him as a husband material…so I agreed!
I didn’t know I was playing with fire.
Now around that time, some people were in a habit of sending photos of nude girls either to the girl’s friends, family or school. There was that time you could just pick up your child’s phone and you will see a naked girl or a man’s genitals…
One day, I was waiting in his room, a friend of his had come and they got talking outside; I was inside pressing phone minding my business; I began to hear one phone dinging, like message alerts. I looked around, there was no phone in sight. So me, I just continued pressing phone.
But the message alerts just kept pouring in; so out of curiosity, I began to search for the phone. After a few minutes, I found it between heaps of clothes. Mark you, he had his regular phone with him, so what was he doing with another phone in his wardrobe?
I opened the phone, thinking maybe this was a spare phone that he forgot to switch off. I was right about it being a spare and right about him forgetting but that was all I was right about.
The phone had several videos and photos of naked girls!
I don’t mean naked girls in the form of porn, I mean naked girls, most of who didn’t look like they wanted their photos and videos taken. There were also photos of people’s privates, like boobs, penis, ass…
You know, I quickly scanned through the photos, couldn’t watch the videos; I saw among the girls one particular girl he had showed me was his ex-girlfriend now married to some rich dude.
I wondered what he was doing with the photos of the lady in very exotic poses; maybe she like me too, had let him video her when they were dating.
I knew immediately I mustn’t be caught with the phone; so I put it back and quickly ran into the kitchen so that if he came back, he wouldn’t think I had heard the phone’s alerts.
For a long time, I couldn’t confront my boyfriend about the secret phone.
I kept hoping he would tell me but he never did; I would start up stories of people who lived double lives in the hope that he would tell me about his but nothing came forth.
I couldn’t raise the topic because though he was a quiet guy, you never want to see him angry, he became a demon! He would throw things around, pound the wall, huff and puff but never touched me…maybe he would have if we continued the relationship.
Anyway, at some point, I fooled myself into thinking maybe the phone didn’t belong to him, may be it belonged to someone else…
Then one day, I got a call from a lady who said she was once my boyfriend’s girlfriend…guess who it was? That very lady I saw her photos in that phone.
The lady asked me to beg my boyfriend to stop sending her nudes to her husband!
Huh?
I was angry and then ashamed that I was his girlfriend; it was like being caught with a thief.
The lady was crying and telling me, “woman to woman, please help me, he will do the same thing to you…”
Obviously, my boyfriend had been making life difficult for the lady by sending her photos to her husband and causing a serious rift in their marriage.
He must have used the secret phone!
And by the way, what was he hoping to achieve?
Was I also going to be another victim if we didn’t date anymore?
I had to confront him.
Of course he denied everything at first, then I went to the wardrobe to bring out the said phone but it wasn’t there anymore. When I turned back at him to tell him I had seen the phone there, and there were probably more ladies he was blackmailing, I saw a devil! His face changed his eyes were flaming red, his veins popping on his neck!
He told me never to ever go into his private space again!
At that point, I knew I hadn’t even began my search for husband material, this one was demon material!
I told him I would go with his ex to report him blackmailing her to the police…I should have kept that thought to myself, even though I wasn’t really planning to. Where was the evidence? He would deny the accusation and destroy the phone of course.
That day, on my way home, I was attacked by thugs who beat the living hell out of me that evening…they didn’t even snatch my bag…that’s how I knew they were on an assignment!
I knew who was behind it!
I stayed a few days at the hospital and of course, I stopped seeing him; I couldn’t even tell people the true reason because I was really afraid of this guy. He didn’t come to see me at the hospital even though my sister said she called him to tell him what happened to me.
He then began to send me my photos…my nudes and the short videos we did together…most of the videos didn’t show his face, only mine.
He didn’t have to tell me he could send them to other people, I knew from the ex’s experience, it was my turn.
I was in turmoil for long. I didn’t want to go to the police…for obvious reasons.
But almost 6 months after, I told a friend’s brother who was in the military what had been happening. This brother, told his “boys” and they went for this guy…
military style.
They made sure they collected the secret phone and the not secret phone from him…that’s of course, after “discouraging” all forms of retribution he may want to send my way. They also told him that if they reported him to the authorities, it would be worse for him so it was best if he kept mum or left town completely.
After that episode, the nudes stopped! I had my freedom at last!
My husband material left town on a long yarn… as I heard.
Now, I would never even allow anyone record my voice!
(Series written and edited by Peju Akande and based on true stories)