There was a story that appeared on your website weeks back about a lady who was somehow deceived into marrying a guy who had a drug problem.
I can’t quite recall the title but my friend sent me the link to the story and when I read her story, I saw that it was somewhat similar to mine although with a bit of difference, yeah? And maybe if I had heard her story before my own marriage, maybe I would never have got married at all.
I got married two years back and immediately I got back from our honey moon, I filed for a divorce!
Let’s roll back; I finished from a college in the US; started work there and maybe would have taken my time to settle down, which wasn’t really my priority because I wanted to climb the so called corporate American ladder, yeah!
I lived with my boyfriend, who is a white guy; we had been friends from high school but then one day I caught him cheating on me. Yeah, it was too much so I moved out and began to live with relatives… yeah, that was when I let my parents talk me into coming back to Nigeria and settling down.
Admittedly, I was going through a rough patch, I wanted to get away, yeah? It was in my vulnerable state that I allowed my mum talk me into coming to Nigeria; finding a job, which through my parents’ connection was really no problem and I am a very hard working girl, even if I have to blow a bit of my own trumpet.
How did I meet the guy I married? Can’t even believe I am unable to call him ‘my husband’…anyway, it was at one of those family weddings where I was one of the chief bridesmaids and Kris, yeah, that’s his name was on the Groom’s train.
Uh huh, he too had schooled and lived abroad for a while. He told me he was into a ‘lil bit of this and lil bit of that.’ He was tall, he was handsome…yeah and I found out that that ‘lil bit of this n that’ was really nothing.
Yeah, for real. And I should have trusted my instincts…but he was charming, he made me feel good about myself…my friends thought he was a fantastic catch, my family thought I would be a fool to let this one slip…my mum knew his people, so for her, this was it! Plus, Kris, he knew people…yeah?
Whenever we went out, there would be several people greeting him, talking to him about things. He had lots of great ideas.
So I felt, well, maybe he hasn’t got anything solid for now but as I have been taught in my marketing classes relationship is the new currency, so this guy could just be the next big thing! So I hung to him.
And yeah, things were great, we were in a great relationship… Oh no, I didn’t make another mistake of moving in with him, cripes, no!
Yeah, like any normal relationship, I guess, we kissed, we had sex a few times…yeah.
I would like to say we were rushed into marriage. I’m no spring chicken, I am already in my 30s, early 30s but you know your regular Naija mum. She was anxious and so were his folks, too. I really didn’t have much reason to hold back when Kris proposed…after just 6months.
Before I knew what, we were married six months after we met! Yeah, we were!
Ok, so there we were, our first night, honeymoon night, at a prestigious hotel in Lagos, we were to fly out the following day to the Caribbean for our honey moon. That night, Kris disappeared and came back the following morning with glazed eyes!
I mean, who does that! At first I panicked, I mean, what was I to do? I called his best man, he it was who told me Kris was with him and had passed out drunk!
I go like, for real? Yeah, for real he said!
The following morning, he came in glazed eyed but somewhat apologetic. I mean, I couldn’t start calling my parents or friends to report him…yeah? It was too early in the day, I mean, only the previous day we exchanged vows, so…
The very first night was rough because I was jet lagged and so should have been Kris; but here’s the curious thing, on the flights; we took two connecting flights, so on each of these flights, Kris would excuse himself to the bathroom several times; I began to think maybe he was suffering from some sort of incontinence. I had no idea he was doing drugs! Nothing gave him away as such!
Yeah drugs, but I didn’t know then!
When we got to our destination, apparently a place he had holidayed at before; he excused himself even before we were fully checked in. At this point, I still had no definite idea, drugs didn’t come to mind, I was just miffed that he wasn’t helping me with our luggage and even if he was going to find old friends, the least he could’ve done was to help me settle in first!
He came back very late in the evening, at this time, I was already regretting getting married to such a selfish bas****! Yeah, I came to that conclusion very early.
But I didn’t think he was on drugs.
Ok, so he came very late and immediately he slammed the door shut began to demand for sex…ok, so, yeah at this time I was seriously pissed but I was also kinda horny, so I gave in…yeah.
Yeah, so the sex, last the whole night, until about noon the following day…I was exhausted! Yeah, I mean, we paused for some snacks and drank a few bottles of wine…but hey girl…is this even normal?
I knew something wasn’t right because I was not just exhausted, I was sore all over….and I had a man who kept demanding for more. I told him I wanted food first, yeah, this was honeymoon but hey man, you aint gonna finish the honey in one fell swoop!
Yeah? Seriously, he was insatiable!
I drew the line by evening, I told him I wasn’t going to do this no more! It’s insane! I was sore all over! He then said to me that if I couldn’t satisfy him, he would go bring other girls who would!
He’s gone quite mad! I thought to myself.
I didn’t know how mad until he brought out his tool kit, his drug tray, a whole cocktail of sniffs, needles, all kinds of drugs!
So one thing hit home; first, explains why he kept getting up to use the bathroom; explains why he disappeared for hours at the hotel; explains his insatiable need for sex.
I knew I was done! Yeah, I knew I was done!
You know what else he did?
He got in several girls, one time, three, one time four of them and they would go at it for hours, a real orgy!
I moved out of the suite that very day and booked my flight to the US. Would you believe the ass*** came knocking on my door, telling me he got me some guy to bang me if I didn’t want to bang him? Can you believe that?
Oh, I got my pretty ass outta that hellhole! Yeah, I did!
I called my folks and told them the marriage was over! I came back from the US and filed for a divorce!
We need to put the word out there, like I said, if I had seen the story before my wedding, hell, I would’ve backed the hell off!
Thanks ma’am.
(Series written and edited by Peju Akande and based on true stories)