The first indication that dating Princess was not going to be a walk in the park was when she told me that very night of our meeting that she was in a relationship. She just couldn’t wait to put it out there. And it was not so much that she said it but the way that she did. For the first time that evening, a cloud seemed to hover over her dainty features, here was someone who had been totally animated only a few hours ago when we dissected the characters in Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s first book. She had been completely in her elements only to turn round and begin to choke like someone in the midst of an asthma attack. I couldn’t care less about this dude she said she was dating, all I wanted to do that night was to take her home and bed her then keep her for the rest of my life.
“But we just met. Besides, I told you I’m in a relationship,” Princess protested when I told her what was on my mind. What was the point delaying right?
“Although I just met you, I can say for a fact that you are the one I’ve been waiting for. Why would I want to wait a moment more?”
“Make haste slowly, said a wise man. After spending time with you this fateful evening, I want to believe that you are also wise and can relate with that saying. So, let’s make haste slowly,” she said.
“Let’s,” I said even if that was not what I wanted. This was war for me and true generals know that in war you do not only advance but also retreat when the need arises. GSM was the rage then so I simply took her number and promised to call while thanking my stars that she was still single.
I called her as soon as the cab we had just shared turned out of the street where she was staying in Surulere and headed towards my one-bedroom house in Ilupeju.
“Hello, my Princess,” I said a soon as she took my call. “Be sure to have yourself a warm bath so as to cancel out the cold the rain that drenched you could induce should you fail to do that. I only wish I could be there to rub your back and wash you clean of what was no doubt your stressful day.”
She said nothing to that but rather thanked me for being gracious enough to insist that I would pay for the cab rather than share the fare with her. It was a battle we never stopped fighting and even till date she still offers to and sometimes even insists on picking the bills. But the major strand of the battle to make Princess truly mine was fought with her mother. The old woman saw no reason why her daughter who had already decided for Magnus would want to abandon that certainty would switch to an unknown young man as myself. So even though after a few months I knew that I was making headway with Princess, I knew that the person to truly win over was her mum. That I eventually crossed that mountain is why we are married today. And when Magnus saw the competition, he knew he didn’t stand a chance.
I don’t know if that is why he deliberately planted his seed in the woman who would become my wife but that is the reality on the ground.
I have always felt that there are two kinds of people in the world, one with what I call a sense of direction and the other without. And this is how Princess and I differ. While I have more or less never gotten lost, Princess on the other hand never seems to remember any landmarks whenever she goes to a place for the first time. So, I have taken it upon myself to be the compass that guides us through our marriage. Also, Princess does not really have the patience for women things. For instance, I’m the one who remembers to get her sanitary towels when we draw up a shopping list. In fact, I can tell when she is ovulating and I was always the one to know when she was pregnant. Princess has always been clueless and it is just the way she is built. Factor all this in and it is easy to see how she didn’t realise she had been pregnant with Magnus’ when she walked down the aisle with me. But I am not going to bring this up, as doing that make no sense and benefits no one. Some things are better not said out loud.