Thoughts on online savagery and how to manage such experiences
Social media platforms and their users have evolved over the years, perhaps mirroring real-life a bit more. Every social media platform has an identity. This is largely based on how its users interact with one another, and the platform’s features and content. Over the years, the nature of engagements has changed as people have gone from being polite and helpful to being impatient and rude, from expressing concern to becoming nonchalant. One doesn’t even have to be a regular social media user to observe the type of exchanges that users have on these platforms as the outcomes sometimes find their way into real life.
I was strolling through the streets of social media on one bright day and I happened to see a post that caught my eye. I wish I could remember exactly what it was about but I think it was about an opinion that the poster had sensed would be challenged. What struck me about her post was that she had ended it with “please be kind when responding to my post”.
There are so many savage people online. One can barely get a thought out before someone has descended on it and stripped it apart. Even the simplest posts are guaranteed to rub some people the wrong way, and the clap backs? You begin to wonder whether people rehearse in advance before responding to posts that they don’t necessarily have to respond to.
I felt that lady’s plea. She had foreseen that there would be people who would attack not just her post but also her personality as they sought to justify whatever opinion they were sharing. Why are some people so cruel and aggressive online? What drives them to become these types of people? Were they always like this? Why do some people find it easy to say hurtful things, harass, bully, and troll others? Whatever happened to good conduct and manners?
Reflecting on the last few months on social media and I am saddened at how so many people appear to have lost their humanity over politics. The elections have brought out the worst in us and everyone from young and old, enlightened and ignorant, has descended into the worst of abysses. People have cursed, insulted, criticised, and humiliated each other. Even the people one would assume should know better based on their age and experience have also wallowed in the mud, and all for what?
Online savagery can be as bad as physical confrontation as it can have deeper consequences than imagined. People have reported mental and emotional breakdowns from being bullied online. Some others have also reported negative impacts in their personal and professional lives, as they began to lose confidence and doubt their abilities. Some people have had to leave social media entirely and others have even committed suicide because they couldn’t cope with the bullying.
The anonymity social media platforms provide presents a good opportunity for many people to misbehave online. It’s quite common to see someone you have never met attack your post: whatever is their motivation? Some would even create fake profiles and use that to terrorise people. As long as no one knows who they are, they believe that they can confidently state whatever opinion they have, even if it is hurtful or untrue. But what about those who don’t even bother to hide their identity? What if one is being bullied by someone they know or a public figure? How do we explain this? Are such people also this badly behaved in real life or do they draw their confidence from assuming they would never meet the people they have trolled?
It could be hard to hold people accountable as the consequences are often left to the platform owners. If a person reports a platform user or hateful content, the social media platform would investigate, and at the very worst, suspend the user permanently. That user could still go ahead and create a new profile and repeat all they had been doing, so consequences are not as stiff as they could be. Many have advocated stringent social media laws that impact how people communicate on social media. Some others believe this could be an infringement on people’s rights. Many countries have even promulgated cybercrime laws that criminalise some of these behaviours.
There will always be mean people online, so we need to understand how to safeguard ourselves. The most important first step is to ensure that you are civil in your interactions with other people. Do not display aggression or impatience when relating with others online. Check the tone and content of your words to be sure that you are not misrepresenting yourself. Encourage harmony in all interactions. Unfortunately, some people genuinely lack manners and may be insulting. Remember that you don’t have to return the insult, after all, what did “an eye for an eye” ever achieve? Some may have common sense and stop their bad behaviour after this, but many others may not.
If after you have displayed positivity and the trolls persist in their negativity, ensure that you limit all forms of interaction with them; they are going nowhere. There is no point in engaging with people who have no good intentions. If they attack you, delete their comments and block them, you could also go ahead and report them. If you experience a massive or sustained attack, please log off from the social media platform. Do not even engage in conversations with people about the attack for the sake of preserving your mental health. If you need emotional support, speak to someone who can encourage you. If you need to speak to a professional, please do.
If you decide to become one of the defenders of the universe, ensure that you apply some sense in your interactions. You could end up becoming the focus of an attack because trolls do not like being challenged. I remember stepping up once for a friend who was being attacked for a post she made about her personal life. The troll decided to change course and faced me squarely. I ensured that I was polite as I countered each attack with facts and precision. It was a waste of time. To be honest, some people are just deeply unhappy and find joy in making others sad.
A good way to counter misbehaviour is to show love, perhaps the person is truly ignorant. The next best way is to ensure the person faces the consequences of their actions. If people are willing to cause emotional harm to others online, then they should be prepared to answer for their actions. We spend so much time online these days, we deserve to have healthy and meaningful interactions with people who have sense; this is the way I see things today.