Guilty!
That is what my lawyer said I should say, that is what I am saying.
At 22 years, I am the oldest child of my mother, Niniola, who is a cleaner for one small company in Anthony village. She earns just N10,000 to feed and care for myself and my three younger brothers and sister.
Since my father left us over 10 years ago, I have tried to support my mother in our one room and parlor at Mushin and I have tried to be the good son; it is not easy growing up in Mushin, the easiest thing to do will be to join one of the cult groups and start raiding traders or become one serious armed robber and my excuse would be that I need to help my mother feed the rest of my siblings and send them to school.
Many times, we would go to sleep hungry even though my mother also sells empty plastic bottles which she picks from dustbins. She washes and sells them but even that too doesn’t bring much money. We can sell 30 bottles for just N500. That means to get about 30 plastic bottles, we will dig into the dustbins of more than three to five streets; we were always dirty, we were always smelling like dust bins.
That kind of job is humiliating. It’s the reason I decided to face my studies, finish school quickly and start helping my mother, so after making my WAEC in 2016; I put in for JAMB the following year, that was in 2017. But the money was difficult to get.
After my mother managed to scrape N3,500 for the form, I added my own N1,800 to it, that was the price for JAMB form that year; JAMB form was N5,500 last year but I hear government has reduced the price to N4, 700 now.
Anyway, after we got the money, I sat for the exam and I passed but I put in for Poly because I know I will never be able to have money for Unilag or state university. Private universities nko? Haba they are not for people like me.
I then showed my result to one of our church members- I worship at a popular church in Lagos, if I mention the church people will know I am the one talking to you, so I will not mention the name of the church.
So, the church member gave me a job and was paying me N12,000 per month. He even promised to assist me when time comes for me to resume Poly. I was a shop assistant in his wife’s provisions shop; they have a nanny who takes care of their children, small, small children like this; one is 4 years old the other is maybe 8 or so and they are both girls.
They live upstairs where the shop is and so, I get to see the family almost on a daily basis.
Then Satan decided to tempt me.
Ok, before I tell you how Satan tempted me, let me also say, you know we young people, many of us are addicted to porn?
I know I will never have money to toast a girl so the best thing I can do, if I want to enjoy myself is to watch porn on my phone and then masturbate. Yes, I have a second hand phone I bought from Otigba street at computer village.
On that phone, especially at night when data is free, I will be watching all kinds of porn videos, porn videos yaa paa on the internet, o and after watching these videos, I will masturbate throughout the night. I am ashamed to say it but that is what Satan used to tempt me.
So, one day, I was in the shop alone because the nanny that was supposed to be watching the children was not around. She has one boyfriend on that street, he is a barber. He has a barbing salon. Every time madam goes out, Tina will jump out to go and see her boyfriend and I know they are doing bad things. Sometimes, she will even bring him upstairs to the house and the children will be banging the door asking for food or water…you know children how they can be asking for one thing or another.
So this day, the day Satan dipped his cup and I drank water…I was alone in the shop.
The younger daughter came to me, she said she has finish poo-pooing that aunty Tina is not around that I should come and clean her bum-bum for her. I said, ha, where is Tina?
I called Tina, I knew she was at her boyfriend’s place.
So I took the girl to the backyard, there is a tap there to clean her.
Immediately she raised her clothes for me to clean her. My mind just went to some of the porno I have been watching. I swear, my thing just stand up.
I was not thinking again. I wanted to put my thing in that girl’s thing!
Yes, I am a Christian, yes I know she is a small child but when your head is full of porno and you see woman naked, you stop thinking especially when I put my hands in her thing to clean it.
I was shocked at how it felt!
So, I… I… I jussst took her to one side by the shed and I just wanted to see how she is.
I don’t even know how it happened but I just removed my zip so that my thing will not explode inside trouser. I carried her up with one hand and used one hand to put my fingers inside her, I put one finger and…I rubbed her on my hard ‘thing’, the girl started complaining that my hand was paining her that I should put her down.
I was still rubbing her when Tina came from behind! She started shouting when she saw my thing outside and the girl in my hands.
Is this not Satan’s handiwork? Tina that when she goes to her boyfriend place she will not come back for hours, she now came back at that time! That was when I knew my life was over.
I wanted to run away but where will I run to?
So, I began to beg Tina, I begged and begged but she just carried the girl upstairs and didn’t say anything.
That day, when my oga and madam came back they called boys to beat me…they beat me run. I just wanted to die. They beat me and then called police. Police came and finished me.
All I could think of was my dear mother Niniola. The woman who works day and night for me and my brothers and sister. This is not the way to pay her back.
They charged me to court but because we are the same church members, my mother went crying to the pastor to tell him to beg the family on my behalf but the man said the case was already a police case. Even though the church was very angry with me, in fact, the pastor, when he came to see me at the police station, he slapped me so hard, I just scatter for ground. I was just begging him. I told him I will never do this again.
My mother was just crying, she didn’t even believe I could do such a thing.
Las las , the church now got a lawyer for me, they were still begging the man to pity me and my mother, saying I have learned my lesson. But the police say the matter is not in the man’s hands, that the government has taken over.
So, even if the man says he will not do court case because I heard the mother of the girl say she did not want to expose her daughter when they take the case to court, still, they say they must charge me…I have been here at kirikiri for almost 10 months.
I am guilty. Very guilty!
(Series written and edited by Peju Akande and based on true stories.)