Rachel and Raphael, the combination sounded good. And that is how it became, we combined well in every aspect, Raphael is the kind of man that any right thinking young woman, any girl would like to keep forever. I wanted to keep him forever and forever. He was gentle, intelligent and kind. He had that one quality many women seek in a man, patience. I could do all wrong to him and he would patiently explain my error to me always verging on the forgiving side.
A lot of men do not realise this but patience is one virtue that can sustain any relationship most especially if the man is the patient one. For instance, you need patience to be able to withstand all the blows life can throw at you. You need patience to calm frayed nerves and in the society we live in today, nerves are frayed most of the time. We find ourselves living on the edge all the time. Well, I know that I am on the edge most of the time ready to tip over at the slightest provocation. Tell me, who amongst us is not constantly pressured by problems with no solution in sight? This certainly results in the tendency to explode. It is for this reason that you need a patient man to be able to endure.
“Why did you ever go out with that kind of man?” Raphael asked with an earnest expression on his face, of one truly wanting to know, seeking understanding.
“What do you mean?” I had retorted, not wanting to go any further. This was after all, a first date and no one wants their dirty laundry to be aired under any circumstance.
“I mean exactly what I have asked you, why on earth did you agree to go out with such a criminal?”
I thought about his question. This was the same question that had occupied me for the better part of my life after Ayo. Perhaps it was time to provide an answer no matter how awkward it may emerge. Why indeed did I have a tendency to attract criminals?
“I really don’t know. Maybe I am a fool or there is a curse somewhere”.
“Really, why a curse? I don’t think so. Excuse my bluntness but I think you are just a very gullible person. Just like most of us,” he said. “It is the reason churches fill up every Sunday in this part of the world and there is still room for the herbalist to also grow a congregation…”
“You don’t know me,” I cut him short, willing to risk it all and go home without thought to the fact that I had been lonely till I met him and up to that point I had been willing to forgive everything and even my sister who inadvertently match made us for the sake of having a handsome and evidently knowledgeable man in my life. But that was not the reason for him to insult me.
But I was fighting a battle on many fronts. My yoni for instance, that is down there in my nethers, was dancing to a different tune. ‘Keep him, keep him’ the music kept playing down there on repeat and how can I even begin to explain how the dance floor and all the walls and even ceiling were wet and sticky. Ayo had been a long time ago and like they say, body no be wood.
Raphael was right. No one had been that direct and blunt to me. And deep inside in the core of my being I knew that I was gullible. I counted that to my upbringing which was a mix of many things including superstition and half-baked faith. I had little or no faith in many things. I was not putting myself down, I was just calling things the way they were. Didn’t someone say that naming a problem was getting halfway to the solution? I was gullible. I just took in what people told me and often did nothing to crosscheck the facts. I believe what people tell me. I believe in people until they let me down.
“You are right you know. I am at best innocent of bad things. I love people and believe that most human beings are basically good. Or to put it more succinctly, no one is all bad,” I said. It was as honest as I could get.
“You are right sweetheart but you have to realise that everyone has a bad side. Recognise it and either try to fix it or manage it how best you can.”
I loved what he said. I loved it mostly because he called me his sweetheart. It was the most endearing thing he had told me since we had come on the outing. There was hope for this relationship. The embers were flickering into flames. Here was a young man, a smart one at that patiently explaining life as he saw it to me. What is more, I felt safe in his presence.
“How is work with you?” I attempted to change the topic. I wanted to know more about the handsome lawyer sitting across from me.
“The work of a lawyer is challenging, we spend most of our working life defending all manner of people. Often, such people lie to us,” he said and we both laughed.
“Not so heartily, you don’t want the pepper to go the wrong way,” he admonished and made me laugh even more.
We had chosen one of the many joints that were a stop on the way to the mainland should traffic suddenly strike after work and we were having pepper soup and beer.
“Does that make you a liar?” I teased him realising how easy it was to talk with him. Someone else would have since irked me.
“Everybody lies a little, white lies they are called,” he said.
“OK, why did you invite me out? Please don’t lie”.
“To tell you the truth, I just wanted to see you again”.
My heart warmed at this. This guy could charm a girl.
“Oh yeah, is that how you chase your clients?”
He said nothing and drank his glass empty then refilled it.
“No,” he said. “I never do that”.
I was relieved with his answer. It was what I had hoped to hear. It didn’t occur to me that I may have become gullible once more. You have to remember that I was just coming out of a heartbreak and heaven knows I needed someone to play with my yoni. It had been a long time, too. Isn’t that the point at which a girl is most vulnerable particularly in our society where no one wants to wait for you or hear your excuses. But I am a typical girl, I need love and when I am down is when I need to be lifted up the most. I am not ashamed to say that as independent as I am, I need the comfort of a man. One date was enough and Raphael became a regular feature in my life and I didn’t need to make any adjustments to accommodate him. At least until that fateful day that will remain etched on my being for the rest of my life.
Continues next week.