They say mother is gold, mine was crust!

People will tell you that I am a mad man but I have never been saner than I have been in the last 10 to 18 years. I am a man of 40 plus years and the last 18 years of my life have been hellish with a mother who has been ‘using’ me. That is why I beat her like the mad woman she is.

Why would a sane man beat his mother? I will tell you, I will tell you why a man who everyone says is mad is not mad but as normal and sane as anyone of you here with me.

I am the last child of my mother, my four older sisters are married and all live in their own homes with their husbands. As the only son and the last child of my mother, I initially felt duty bound to remain close to her; to ensure her welfare and businesses were doing well…but my sister, I received the shock of my life a few years ago.

What I am about to tell you will make you go mad but I am done with madness, today, my eyes are clear as the day, my senses are back to normal, I am a man again!

Like I said before, when all my sisters left the house for marriage, I, being the last born and only son, cleaved to my mother for a while; I planned to get married and have kids and maybe live on the same street or one of the houses my mother had; I also manage these buildings for her. I act as caretaker and estate agent to mama.

My mother has many houses here in Lagos; so my plan was, I would move into one of the flats when I wanted to get married and still be close to mama. I mean, what is the point of going to rent a house when my mother had several houses? So I planned to just take a flat and live close to her so that she wouldn’t be lonely in her old age…I was around 23 years old then; when I began to seriously plan a future for myself. I was almost done with school.

Like many guys my age, I would bring my girlfriends home to my mum to see, and one by one, one after another, my mother found something wrong with the girls.

At first I thought she was just being a mother, you know how mothers dote on their sons, how they fear some woman would take him away from them? I thought that was the problem with mama, o.

After my youth service, I kept bringing the girls I was interested in to mama to see…she would always ‘see visons’ against them.

You see my mother belongs to one of these popular faith healing churches and claims to be a deaconess for that matter! She believes in seeing visions and knowing who the right woman would be for me… she saw all the visions of this world but none that told her that sleeping with her only son is an abomination against God! My mother is the woman who had been sleeping with me since I turned 23!

Hunnm. Yes, to my shame but to my happiness, today as things stand; before I was blind but now I see, that my mother had been the cause of me being held back in life…I had been having sex with my own mother for close to 18 years!

Don’t let your mouth keep hanging like that, what I am telling you is the gospel truth!

I was not myself, these past years, these 18 years! I and my own mother, the one who gave birth to me, we have been having sex for 18 years…in that house! Yes, that is why I did what I did!

You ask me how come I had been having sex with my own mother?

That one is jamb question. Can anyone ask Odewale in “The Gods are not to blame” why he was sleeping with his own mother? He didn’t know the woman was his mother but I also was in a trance of sort, I didn’t know I was sleeping with my own mother until the scales lifted from my eyes. Until I met someone, who after i complained to him that at almost 40, my life was not going well.

The man told me to go and ask my mother.

Mind you, I wasn’t attracted to her, she was my mother but she drew me to have sex with her since I turned 23…did I hear you say charm?

It had to be, is it a normal thing? Is it an everyday occurrence for a man to be sleeping with his own mother? Is that not an abomination?

Is that not a sin against the Almighty God Himself?

And yet, my mother is a deaconess in her church! Oh yes, she is one of those women who wake up to preach at street corners, calling sinners to repentance, sharing tracts and pamphlets to tenants and neighbours and yet, she frequently slept with her own son!

Please don’t ask me how these happened for years…I have no clue. I swear by everything I know. I don’t understand how.

I just know I had never been able to keep a job down, I had never been able to have a decent relationship with any woman, they would always leave me or my mother would chase them away! I had been living in some sort of limbo for so many years but one day; the scales fell off my eyes. I don’t even know how it started; I had just finished having sex with that witch when I saw her for the first time for who she was! It was as if my eyes just cleared!

I was so disgusted with myself; I was so ashamed of myself, I mean, me, sleeping with my own mother! This is just…unthinkable! I screamed and shouted, “Mama, ooo God will punish us eee…what have we done? What is going on?”

You know what she said to me? She said I should come back to bed with her, that I was her ‘husband!’

Who? Me? God forbid!

I told her, “Mama, I am not your husband, this thing we are doing is wrong in the sight of man and God Himself! You of all people should know that mama, this is very wrong!”

She got up, and left the room. That was when I began to remember, as if I was watching myself in a film, I saw myself over the years sleeping with my own mother…I saw that I was not making progress in life; I was not married, I couldn’t hold down a job and yet I am a graduate of pharmacy!

It is no wonder my life was the way it was, even the law of nature is against this kind of unholy relationship I had with my own mother. My sister, I was just crying, I was sad, I didn’t leave my room for some days…I didn’t know who to tell? My sisters? Would they believe me? Who would I ask to help me? I had no close friends…my mother made sure of that…I was going mad!

Instead of mama to help me, she came to me again, naked and wanted sex…haaaaa, I lost it finally, that was why I attacked her!

I beat her, I beat her, I beat her like she was a snake that had come to attack me…

Then neighbours came. They broke our door to rescue her…they took me to the police station and I readily gave my statement. They detained mama because that day, she was confessing like a witch but I don’t even know who bailed her. When they heard my story, they couldn’t hold me…I think they sympathized with me.

Who would hear this kind of mad story and still say I was wrong?

I left that house, I left the country…I never want to set my eyes on her again. I have disowned her. She will never do me harm again!

(Series written and edited by Peju Akande and based on true stories)

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