Since Falz released his version of Childish Gambino’s #ThisisAmerica to create his own, #ThisisNigeria, (which many have called names from parody to copy-copy,) I have decided to give you my take on Lagos.
Oya, #ThisisLagos
- where everybody is in a hurry
- where we work 5am to 9pm
- we depart our homes by 5am
- then leave our offices by 9pm to get home by 11pm (rinse and repeat)
- Where your apartment rent can buy a duplex in neighbouring states
#ThisisLagos
- where many of us work to put money in the pockets of bus conductors, petrol station owners and land lords
#ThisisLagos
- city of trailers.
- where trailers fall off bridges like apples dropping from trees
#ThisisLagos
- where only the rich can afford health care
- where the inner city roads are death traps
- but, all we hear is; Lagos is working,
- hail our mega city, Africa’s fastest growing economy!
#ThisisLagos
- Where the government hates the poor
- destroys slum communities for periwinkle estates
- arrests hawkers and destroys their goods
- sacks a functioning cleaning agency to hire a visionless one
#ThisisLagos
- where everybody is an ITK (I Too Know)
- Where power on the streets rests in “Do you know who I am?”
#ThisisLagos
- Where all drivers are mentally unstable
- From Danfo drivers to bus conductors,
- Okada riders to keke Marwa operators
#ThisisLagos
- Where people casually defecate along the road during the day
- And grown men pee in the gutters with their pricks in your face
#ThisisLagos
- Where citizens fear the police more than armed robbers
- And the biggest killer is ‘accidental discharge’
- Where every young man with a backpack ‘na Yahoo boy’
- And SARS personnel are worse than Shina Rambo
#ThisisLagos
- Where we awaken to the muezzins call for prayers
- Then jump and pass sacrifices at Orita Meta
- Where Christians kabash all night
- While the crime rate rises higher than inflation
#ThisisLagos
- Where a man can arrive with his things in a pillow case
- Make his home under the bridge
- And be on the cover of Forbes magazine in 6 months
Welcome to Lagos
Má lọ nàgẹ̀rẹ̀