To hell with this marriage! I can’t use the same mouth to speak in tongues and suck dxxk!

It’s been how many days now since this nonsense isolation? And I can’t take it anymore.

You know, at the beginning, I was kind of happy that finally, B, would stay home with me and the boys. I swear, this marriage was already breaking up. I had been seeing condoms buried deep in his pigeon hole for some time now and when I confronted him with this, he told me I should be happy he uses condoms instead of bringing home diseases that would infect me and affect our children.

Of course, I was relieved but I was also very angry that he would be this uncaring about my feelings. That he would even continue to justify his cheating.

You know, so when we were asked to stock up; no church, no social gathering, and even the usual excuse of, ‘I am going to the club’ was not tenable because even the clubs have shut down. I thanked God that my prayers were finally answered.

You know, since our issue started years back, my husband stopped going to church with us, he even stopped praying with my children and I. I fasted, prayed, spoke in tongues for God’s intervention but he just kept drifting away. He kept on having one affair after another and the last straw was me discovering the condoms and he didn’t even have any shame to deny it, to even lie that it belonged to a friend or colleague, you know men lie a lot. He told me I should be glad he uses condom so as not to infect me, and that in his eyes was a perfect explanation!

So, anyway, I told my spiritual counsellor that during this period of stay at home, I was praying that my husband and I would at least find time to talk and save our marriage because, I don’t want to be divorced; my boys are still too young, and I am too young to get divorced? Moreover, nobody in my family is divorced, so I didn’t want to be the first and only divorcee in my family.

First day, my husband was just pacing around like a caged tiger so I gave him time to get used to this new arrangement. In fact, I was secretly laughing at him, he would come to the kitchen, open the fridge, stare oooo, then go back to the living room, talk to the boys, come back to watch me in the kitchen…

Second day was when we began to talk about the things that had gone wrong in our marriage; he blamed me for being cold. I said, me? Cold? How?

He said I was the one who pushed him out, I was not giving him what he wanted. I was shocked o. He just turned everything on my head!

Biko nu, what do you want?

After all the ebe talkitalki, we landed in bed… humnn

Ok, that was expected.

In the evening, we landed again…hummn, twice already in one day, this thing wey we no dey do for like one month or two.

Midnight, he woke me up…another one again. I swear!

Where is this man getting all the energy biko?

I had to sneak out of bed o. Chai make e no com kill me for my mama!

The following morning, after breakfast, we sat down to talk some more. He said one of the things that made him look outside was because I was not doing what the other girls were doing. I said, ‘What are they doing?’ He said, ‘Come let me show you’.

We went into the bedroom. Hummn, he showed me one video, in fact, I saw many videos which I will call porn, of women sucking the man’s thing.

Arrggh! What is thissss!

In my mind, I was wondering, what has B gotten himself into! Upon all my prayers and fasting, this is what this man thinks is enjoyment!

I told him I couldn’t do it, o! Ha, yes o. I wasn’t brought up like that! I am a prayer warrior in my church, how would tongues flow from my mouth?

He said this was one of the things he enjoyed that is why he was always going out.

This man will not kill me, my children are still young. Why will I use the same mouth I use to pray to suck his wetin call! Did I tell you I am a member of the prayer warriors in my church?

I begged him, I said we can do other things but that one, I cannot do it. Do you know the idiot told me he would teach me how to do it? Do you know he went to the kitchen, brought one of the bananas I had stocked, because I like eating bananas, he came back into the room to teach me? As in teach me how I should do it to him?

Who I offend, o?

I rejected it! I rejected it! This is the devil talking!

Then I called my spiritual counselor, I explained to her what I was going through; the woman, one woman in her 60s o. She always likes to go to camp and sit in front of the altar itself. The woman told me I should do it.

I said, ‘But mummy…she said, ‘…do what your husband wants. Is he not your husband?’

That’s how I have begun o.

I have been sucking banana morning afternoon and night o. If I am not sucking banana, I am raising my leg to dangerous heights o.

This is not funny, o. I am serious!

Now every time he wants it, which is about every minute… and the kids are around, our code is, he will just say, ‘Come let me show you something…’  

Na lie o, he is not showing me anything, na to raise my legs o!

I am tired! My back is killing me, I am not a young woman who can just be raising legs anyhow.

I want this corona thing to end so that he can go back to all these girls that are giving him leg and mouth.

This my mouth is for tongues, I cannot be using it to suck banana.

(Series written and edited by Peju Akande and based on true stories)

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