Top Stories with Uzoma

‘Isha Sesay, dis one no follow!’

The Presidency, while reacting to a new book by ex-CNN star and Child Rights activist, Isha Sesay, has among other things, refuted the claim in the book that it had given up on the Chibok girls.

In a statement by Senior Special Assistant to the President (Media & Publicity), Garba Shehu, the Presidency said it wanted to “seize the moment to reiterate the government’s unwavering determination to secure the release, by peace or by force, the remaining 110 Chibok girls, Ms Leah Sharibu and all other citizens held captive by terrorists”.

This book, Shehu stated, should serve the useful purpose of spotlighting the crimes against humanity by Boko Haram terrorists, etching it permanently on the public mind. “In addition, the book should rightfully stir up interest and rally international support for the young girls on the continent who must stay in school and avoid early pregnancy and marriage, in order to actualize their God-given potential.”

LOL. How I wish the Presidency addresses Nigerians like this about the state of things without one Aunty Sesay coming to ‘ruffle feathers’. Aunty Sesay, please write a book about Gandollar saga and the Mace runner. Maybe, only then, will the Presidency talk to us!

 

Obasanjo the trouble monger

Miyetti Allah Kautal Hore has absolved Fulani of blame in the spiking rate of insecurity in Nigeria while calling for the arrest of former president Olusegun Obasanjo. Obasanjo wrote an open letter to President Muhammadu Buhari on Monday, urging him to act quickly and decisively against growing insecurity in the country.

Miyetti Allah’s national secretary Alhasaan Saleh said the former Nigerian leader may want to destabilise the government and must be arrested. “The earlier they get him (Obasanjo) arrested and dealt with, according to the laws of the land, the better,” Saleh said.

“He doesn’t mean well for the country. We just elected a new government; we have a National Assembly that was just inaugurated. Nobody needs any conference, except they are pushing for something else,” he added.

This is laughable and saddening at the same time. So many charlatans being thrust into national consciousness. Tueh.

 

Not too old to grumble

Members of the National Assembly have been paid their welcome package, including accommodation and furniture allowances. It was also gathered that some of the lawmakers were not happy because the allowances fell below their expectations. A source in the National Assembly management disclosed that senators were paid over N30m each while Reps received over N25m each.

“The lawmakers have been paid. They were paid on Friday. Members of the House got over N25m each and those in the Senate got over N30m. They were also paid their monthly running costs,” he said.

The Chief Whip of the Senate, Orji Uzor Kalu, also said some of his colleagues were lamenting their poor pay contrary to their expectations. He said, “Let me address the issue of jumbo pay. I have received my salary for June and it is far below what you people are writing. It is the money we use when we travel to Abia, Lagos, Badagry or Kaduna. You will now see that you are maligning and criticising the National Assembly for nothing.”

Chai. So these people are crying over how ‘low’ N25m and N30m is? Let 2023 reach first, I will show myself.

 

How to wear a coke wig by a desparate traffiker

A man has been arrested after trying to hide half a kilo of cocaine underneath his wig at Barcelona airport.

Spanish police grew suspicious of the man who had a precarious toupee on the top of his head and looked nervous as he got off a flight from Bogota. After stopping him they found a package stuck to his head which contained about £27,000 worth of cocaine.

A police statement said: “There is no limit to the inventiveness of drug traffickers trying to mock controls.” It gave no further details of his identity following his detention at Josep Tarradellas Airport.

People don’t learn. If you want to be a successful drug peddler, wear a babariga and be a Nigerian Poli… Ahem. Please when is Nigeria playing Tunisia?

 

CAF House of Commotion

Confederation of African Football (CAF) president, Ahmad Ahmad, is coming under growing pressure as Fifa investigates allegations against him.

Separately, an investigation by the BBC revealed that Mr Ahmad received two sets of expenses, claiming to be in two different countries, for the same nine-day period during the 2018 World Cup. First, the documents indicate he signed for daily allowances that stated that he was in Egypt for this spell – before later adding his signature to a document claiming he was in Russia at the same time.

“President Ahmad took [sic] contact with the Fifa administration to support him in its action for Caf’s reforms and to get the process more transparent,” Caf replied to BBC Sport in a statement. “The details of this cooperation will be announced very soon. For now, as the President have [sic] a very deep respect of the institutions, he keeps his answers for Fifa’s teams, which will lead the future audit.”

Wahala. Finally, this thievery of a thing no by nationality. If e dey your blood, e go always show face.

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