Top Stories with Uzoma

MANGA: Make Nigeria Great Again

President Muhammadu Buhari has said that the National Youth Service Corps (NYSC), the Armed Forces and the Police are the only bodies uniting Nigeria, saying this is why corps members in particular, should rededicate themselves to uniting Nigeria.

Buhari spoke in his Daura country home, Katsina State, on Sunday when corps members paid him Sallah homage. The President had received the corps members, and the visiting President of Republic of Guinea, Prof. lfa Conde.

“…the entire nation depends on past and serving youth corps members to bridge the country, since they have the first-hand experience of living with different ethnic groups in various parts of the country, studying their cultures and traditions, and enjoying hospitality, which underpins every community in Nigeria,” the Presidency said. Buhari donated two cows, 10 bags of rice to the visitors and an undisclosed amount of money.

LOL. Thank God say Presido no include himself. Him sef know say him no follow.

 

The scapegoat called Tekno

The federal government has promised to bring sanity into the social lives of citizens and stop the debasement of humanity and the pride of Nigerian women (Meh!) by making scapegoats of some persons. The government was reacting to the controversial music video by a popular musician, Augustine Kelechi, a.k.a. Tekno, with scenes of four semi-nude women dancing in a moving van on the Lekki-Ikoyi Link Bridge in Lagos.

The artiste, in the four-minute video, was seen throwing money suspected to be dollars at the young women. The government expressed disappointment that despite ongoing investigations into the anomaly, Tekno went ahead to release the offensive video.

A statement on Sunday by the Director General, National Council for Arts and Culture, a parastatal of the Federal Ministry of Information and Culture, Segun Runsewe, said Tekno would be made a scapegoat “to teach others a serious lesson”. He stated, “Since the offensive Tekno scam video came to the limelight, I have received hundreds of telephone calls and SMS from Nigerians at home and others in the United Kingdom, United States, Canada and other parts of the world querying why such anomalies would be tolerated in Nigeria.”

Ah, haba! Which kain lie be this? So Nigerians living in the West—the ‘headquarter’ of sin o—are still concerned about what we view on our TVs here? Nonsense. Make them face Trump and heatwave and leave us joor. By the way, why e be say government no dey like show their power to corrupt politicians? Oh, I get it, their names no be Tekno.

 

Who is your enemy?

The Chief of Air Staff, Air Marshal Sadique Abubakar, has said the military will redouble its efforts to deal decisively with all the enemies of state, not minding their propaganda. The air chief, who noted that the military was aware of the enormity of security challenges facing the country, added that it would work with other agencies to “rid our great nation of the threats to her security and development”.

Abubakar stated this in his Eid-El-Kabir message to the personnel of the Nigerian Air Force on Sunday.

He said the troops would continue to take the battle to the bandits and terrorists.

Well, given recent developments, I guess we all agree the Nigerian Police are part of these ‘enemies of state’. Mtcheew.

 

Rising suicides…troubling times

The Yoruba Youth Socio-Cultural Association (YYSA) has called on National Film and Video Censors Board (NFVCD) to ban production of films with suicide scenes. Mr Olalekan Hammed, National President of the association, in a statement on Monday in Osogbo, said suicide rate was alarming, adding that negative roles of suicide in most home videos was contributing to the menace.

He said watching of suicidal films had made people, especially youths to see it as an ordinary measure someone could take to free himself or herself from frustration.

“Film producers should be encouraged to use the medium to promote tolerance, endurance and professional steps that could be used to resolve issues rather than committing suicide,” he said. “It is not an overstatement to say that, all forms of immoralities and abnormal behaviour being exhibited by Nigerian youths were adopted through music and films they watch…It is like the regulatory body has derailed totally from its primary assignment which is to regulate films and video production in the country.”

Again, the same old we-are-being-corrupted lies. The only thing above I concur to is the use of ‘the medium to promote tolerance, endurance and professional steps that could be used to resolve issues rather than committing suicide’. So we should leave it at that.

 

Love as old as time

Childhood buddies Jemma Fullthorpe, 31 and Phil Allen, 32, got married at their primary school hall where they first met each other as four-year-olds in 1992.

At the school, Kingsthorpe Lower School in Northampton, Phil and Jemma were inseparable until Phil and his family moved to London meaning they went to different secondary schools.  A few years later, Phil contacted Jemma on Facebook where they chatted for some time. After years of chatting and eventually dating, the pair decided to get married in the school where they first met 27 years ago.

With the permission of the current head teacher, they said their vows in the school hall where they used to do PE classes. Jemma, who works in a solicitor’s office, said: “It was brilliant to get married where our story started. The hall is where I have my first memories of Phil.” Phil, a tree surgeon, said: “The school brought us together and we were delighted to be able to have our wedding there. It brought back loads of memories and was the perfect day.”

Awww… Who I fit marry for primary school sef? Honestly, no one…not those selfish ones that didn’t share their sharpener with me. Mtcheew.

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