Village people, three gbosa for una!
31-year-old Matthew Ronald Aimers was arrested for harassing and sexually assaulting a teenager at his own wedding. Yes, you heard right. At his own wedding o. During his wedding reception, Matthew propositioned her for sex and after she refused, he allegedly followed her into a bathroom and assaulted her. Chai. This is one of the reasons I quietly swallow an L whenever women say men are scum. Mtcheew.
VIPs & V(N)IPs
The Nigeria Police Force has said it will withdraw its personnel attached to ‘Very Important Persons’ (VIPs) before and during the 2019 general elections. “We will be withdrawing our personnel attached to VIPs to achieve 2 things,” the Nigerian police tweeted. “It will enable us have enough pool of personnel for deployment and…having policemen attached to Politicians and VIPs may want to give them undue advantage over others which we won’t allow.” But the question is, why attach police officials to private individuals in the first place? Why can’t these VIPs get their own private security and…Oh, I get it now: other Nigerians are ‘Very (Not) Important Persons’? Ah, I’m brilliant o.
Hard guy, hard guy, but my hubby na softie – Aisha Buhari
Aisha Muhammadu Buhari, First Lady of the Federal Republic of Nigeria, has said that though the President may look tough and hard on the outside, he is a compassionate and loving person with the interest of the ordinary masses at heart. “You will agree with me that when you have a leader who leads by example you do the right thing and don’t steal so that the money is stretched further to cover more projects. This is the secret behind the success of the President.” LOL. Wasn’t it this same aunty that said her husband’s government is run by a cabal, and wasn’t it her ‘loving’ husband that directed that snarky comment at her the other time? Let me not talk too much, before somebody will accuse me of trying to put asunder.