Atiku pulls an Orubebe on Buhari
Presidential candidate of the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP), Atiku Abubakar, has reacted to the victory of President Muhammadu Buhari at the February 23 presidential election, saying the election was not free and fair. “In 2019, it is sad to see those who trampled on democracy thumping their noses down on the Nigerian people,” Atiku said in a press statement. He has decided to challenge the result in the court of law. Okay. Let him go ahead and challenge. For now, in the immortal words of Falz, we are stuck with another ‘four-year tenure, three years’ holiday’.
Sai Buhari, Sai Baba
President Muhammadu Buhari has thanked the trio of Bola Ahmed Tinubu, Rotimi Amaechi and Adams Oshiomhole for his victory in the presidential elections of Saturday February 23, 2019. Looking ahead, the president who returns for another 4-year term said his administration will focus on “Security, Restructuring the Economy and Fighting Corruption.” He also called on his supporters “not to gloat or humiliate the opposition. Victory is enough reward for your efforts.” Yes, sir. And methinks you deserve three months’ vacation in London to regain lost strength. Body no be firewood.
Miracle pastor heading to jail
After convincing his congregation in a now-viral video that he successfully brought a man back from the dead, the pastor of Alleluia Ministries in South Africa, Alph Lukau, is being sued by three funeral firms—Kingdom Blue, Kings & Queens Funeral Services, and Black Phoenix—for allegedly staging the stunt and tricking them into being involved. Lukau reportedly got the coffin from Kingdom Blue and placed Black Phoenix stickers on a private car in an attempt to “look credible to Kings & Queens Funeral Services” when they arrived to order a hearse. Now, Alleluia Ministries are claiming that the man in the coffin was “already alive” when he arrived to the church and that the pastor simply “completed a miracle that God had already started.” LOOOOOOOOOL. The same way Lukau MUST complete the jail time God has started in his life!
OYO is your case, INEC tells Imo RO
The Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC) has disowned its ad hoc staff, Innocent Ibeawuchi, who was the Returning Officer for last Saturday’s National Assembly election in Imo State and has confirmed Governor Rochas Okorocha as the senator-elect for Imo West District. Ibeabuchi, after declaring Okorocha winner of the election, at the Orlu INEC Collation Centre, alleged that he was made to declare the governor under duress. INEC, speaking through its Public Relations Officer, Mrs. Emmanuella Okwara, said, “What transpired between them is his business…” and advised Ibeabuchi to make his report officially to the commission, if his claims were true. For this, I support INEC 100%. Why in 10 heavens should you care if your employee’s life was threatened when he couldn’t respect you enough to come in a coffin to narrate his ordeal?
Weather ‘reports’
Enugu Rangers’ Technical Adviser, Christian Chukwu says the Flying Antelopes could not come out victorious in their 2019 CAF Confederation Cup game against Etoile du Sahel of Tunisia at the weekend because the players found it difficult to cope with the cold weather in the North African country. “We lost in Tunisia to the cold weather which affected the players adversely. They have not been exposed to such weather condition before.” LOL. And I’m sure those players would like to play football abroad. When they deny them visa now, they will come and start crying.