Oya, come and see the true meaning of Next-Level
President Muhammadu Buhari has warned of tougher times for Nigerians following his renewed mandate to pilot the affairs of the country in the next four years. He gave the warning when he received members of the Federal Executive Council (FEC), who congratulated him over his victory at the presidential election conducted by the country’s Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC). President Buhari said, “My last lap of four years, I think is going to be tough. People are very forgetful and that’s why during the campaign, I spoke about our cardinal agenda.” Yepa! Who we offend? Tougher times on top this one wey we dey so? Jesus take the wheel.
Good tidings from Saudi Arabia
King Salman bin Abdulaziz Al Saud of Saudi Arabia has congratulated President Muhammadu Buhari on his re-election for a new presidential term. In a telephone conversation with President Buhari on Thursday, the Custodian of the Two Holy Mosques wished the Nigerian President success and good health in his second term in office, said a statement by the president’s spokesperson, Garba Shehu. President Buhari expressed appreciation to the King, affirming his readiness to enhance aspects of cooperation between the two countries in various fields. Various fields silencing journalists. Just thought to mention that.
Monitoring spirits
Four men suspected to be fake election monitors have been arrested by the Osun State Police Command. The suspects, it was learnt, were arrested in a village called Iwaro, near Osu, the headquarters of Atakumosa West Local Government Area of Osun State. It was reported that when the suspects were questioned about their presence near a polling station on election day, they were unable to offer satisfactory answers. The spokesperson for Osun Police Command, SP Folasade Odoro, said, “They were not accredited anywhere. We couldn’t find any accreditation tag on them. They only called themselves monitors.” Monitors ko, CPU ni.
Hamza bin Laden: A lazy Nigerian youth dreams big
The United States is offering a reward of up to $1m (£750,000) for information about Hamza Bin Laden, one of the sons of the late al-Qaeda leader Osama Bin Laden. Hamza Bin Laden is emerging as a leader of the Islamist militant group, officials say. In recent years, he has released audio and video messages calling on followers to attack the US and its Western allies in revenge for his father’s killing. He is thought to be based near the Afghan-Pakistani border. Mtcheew. Afghan-Pakistani border? And I been dey hope say him dey somewhere close to my street sef. Please leave me, I’m a lazy Nigerian youth.
Sergio the Ram
Real Madrid skipper Sergio Ramos has been given a two-game ban by UEFA ‘for clearly receiving a yellow card on purpose’ during his team’s Champions League tie at Ajax. Ramos fouled Kasper Dolberg in the 89th minute with Real 2-1 up, meaning he is suspended for the last-16 second leg. UEFA opened an investigation and gave him with an additional one-match ban for obtaining a booking deliberately. The Spain defender, 32, told reporters afterwards he would “be lying if I said I didn’t force [the booking]”. “…in football you have to make complicated decisions,” Ramos added. Ewu. Like that complicated decision you took against Mohammed Salah in last year’s Champions League final ba? Very soon you go use your own hand complicate your career.