I tanda gidigba – Onnoghen
Embattled Chief Justice of Nigeria (CJN), Justice Walter Onnoghen has, through a press statement made available by his spokesman Awassam Bassey, refuted reports that he has resigned his office. The man is currently facing six charges of non and fraudulent declaration of assets levelled against him by the Code of Conduct Bureau at the Code of Conduct Tribunal. Only an innocent person would stand their ground in situations as this. Hopefully, Justice Walter turns out to be one. Else, it’s still the same #GandujeGate cycle all over again.
Man dumps lover after nine years; woman demands payment
A Zimbabwean woman, Auxillia Mutikinye, has declared that she deserves payment for staying with her lover for nine years and performing all the duties of a wife ‘even though he didn’t pay my bride price‘. In his defence, the man said Auxillia had been verbally and physically abusing him and coming to his workplace to harass him. Not a supporter of violence directed at either men or women, but how can you keep somebody’s daughter as wife for years without any plan for marriage? Oga should please pay up. And if you say ‘transactional sex’ you will chop Wi-Fi-enabled slap!
Gym clothing and men’s confusion
Turns out what’s most disturbing to some men isn’t a nude woman but a woman who wears ‘revealing’ clothing. A law student in Germany had gone to the gym with her boyfriend when “a female trainer approached and said ‘she couldn’t train like this’”. In a tweet wherein she called out the gym’s wrongdoing, the offended woman said, ‘Just got kicked out of my gym, because my clothes were too “revealing”… and were confusing the men in the gym. What century are we in again? So sad.’ Nuff said.
Look before you sh#t… literally.
An Australian woman, Helen Richards “jumped off her seat” after being bitten by a snake on the toilet of her relative’s house. Thankfully, the snake was a non-venomous carpet python. A professional snake handler who was called to retrieve the reptile said ‘it was common to find snakes seeking water in toilets during hot weather.’ Ah! Common bawo? Biko it’s shotput things henceforth.