Shine ya eye Mama Put, Lagos is coming
The Lagos State Government has urged food providers to ensure strict compliance with safety measures while preparing food to be consumed by the public. The Permanent Secretary, Ministry of Special Duties and Intergovernmental Relations, Dr Jimoh Yusuf, gave this charge on Thursday while giving his goodwill message at a one-day sensitisation and advocacy programme on food safety in Ketu, Lagos. The Permanent Secretary said, “Safety comes first and everyone needs to be proactive when it comes to safety.” He charged the Restaurant and Food Services Proprietors of Nigeria and other stakeholders to comply with the food safety guidelines as the lives of Lagosians was in their hands. Oh. I hope Mama-Put people are hearing this o. I no wan see Agbalumo seed inside my plate of egusi soup again.
Elections observers shake Naija table
A group of foreign and local observers, under the aegis of Women Advocates Research and Documentation Centre, Transition Monitoring Group, Human and Environmental Development Agenda and Election Observation Platforms, during the just-concluded 2019 general elections on Thursday came hard on the rampant cases of vote-buying and inducement of voters. The Executive Director of WARDC and Chairperson of TMG, Dr. Abiola Akiyode-Afolabi said, “We got to a situation in the last election where electoral officers were being shot, hijacked and held hostage. I don’t think in our electoral history, we have got to that level where electoral officers cannot declare results without interference by either political thugs, security officers or any other people who feel that they can influence elections.
“How come nobody is talking about these happenings? The professors who were the Returning Officers are not coming out boldly to talk about it, so we need a public hearing; people must be able to talk about what happened in this election for us to be able to avoid a repeat of such.” Thank God say somebody don talk true. Our denial syndrome in Naija is top notch. Even Peter own, before him become Saint Peter, no reach ours.
The boxer that shoots a wrong shot
Boxing chiefs in California have suspended Bulgarian heavyweight Kubrat Pulev’s licence after he “forcibly” kissed a female reporter on the lips during an interview. Footage emerged of Pulev embracing Vegas Sports Daily’s Jennifer Ravalo when asked about fighting Tyson Fury. Pulev, 37, claimed the pair were friends, but Ravalo said she had only met the boxer a day earlier. Ravalo’s lawyer Gloria Allred said his actions were “unwelcome and unlawful”.
The heavyweight has been ordered to appear in front of the California State Athletic Commission (CSAC), who said they “take this incident seriously”. CSAC added: “Before he will be licensed to fight in California again, boxer Kubrat Pulev must appear in front of the commission and demonstrate that he will conform to this principle of respect.” Hian. See guys, next time women call us scum, no argue, just remember Oga Kubrat and collect your sub.
South African animal farm
Monkeys, who were displaced after a hospital was built in the forest that they inhabited in South Africa, have invaded the hospital. It was reported that the monkeys stole food from patients. Daily Mail reveals that the troop of vervet monkeys began targeting the RK Khan Hospital in Durban before 2018 Christmas, entering through windows which had been left open. South Africa’s Health Minister Dr Aaron Motsoaledi said, “We must find an immediate solution and I no longer want to see monkeys in the premises.” LOL. Those monkeys should come and see what their Animal Kingdom mates in Naija are doing. By then they will know that George Orwell was not joking.
A mother, girls in leggings and how to keep konji at bay
A woman who described herself as “mother of four sons” have appealed to young ladies to stop wearing leggings which, she argues, are capable of inflaming male passion and lead men into sin. Maryann White, who describes herself as a “Catholic mum,” made her opinion known via a letter published in the University of Notre Dame student newspaper, The Observer. “I’m just a Catholic mother of four sons with a problem that only girls can solve: leggings,” she wrote. White insists that she is “not trying to insult anyone or infringe upon anyone’s rights.” “Could you think of the mothers of sons the next time you go shopping and consider choosing jeans instead?” she wailed in the letter. LMAO. Madam, tell your sons to bury their faces in their Bible. That’s how you keep konji at bay. Speaking from [somebody’s] experience.