UTME and a desperate father’s misguided love
A self-acclaimed professor, identified only as Jide, has been arrested by operatives of the Nigerian Security and Civil Defence Corps, after he was caught assisting his daughter during the Unified Tertiary Matriculation Examination in the Jabi area of the Federal Capital Territory, Abuja. The Joint Admissions and Matriculation Board confirmed Jide’s arrest, which was the first day of the UTME, noting that the man sneaked into a Computer-Based Test centre in Jabi but he was later arrested by operatives and is now in custody.
The JAMB Head of Information and Public Affairs, Dr. Fabian Benjamin, said, “In Brix Academy in Jabi, a man penetrated the system, broke all security barriers, went into the examination hall and assisted his daughter. When arrested, he claimed to be a professor and also the owner of a non-governmental organisation. He has been picked up and he is with the security operatives. We believe that in no distant time, he will be prosecuted.”
Chai. This is the reason Nico Mbarga never did a song titled ‘Sweet Father’. Best believe that.
Keep calm, because fuel yapa – NNPC
The Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation (NNPC) has debunked the rumours that the nation was going to experience fuel scarcity due to the alleged refusal of some oil marketers to lift products from the depots. In a statement released on its verified Twitter handle and signed by Ndu Ughamadu, its Group General Manager, Group Public Affairs Division, NNPC said, it had over one billion litres of fuel in stock.
“@NNPCgroup informed that it has over 1bln litres of petrol in stock while imports of 48 vessels of 50mln ltrs each have been committed for April 2019 alone, noting that there was no need for panic buying or hoarding of petroleum products in anticipation of a phantom scarcity.”
LOL. Na so. Anyway sha, this one concerns those with a car or a generating set. We, a.k.a. trekkers, have nothing to worry about. The power of NNPC doesn’t reign in our kingdom.
Prevention is not better than cure
Brunei’s foreign ministry has, through a statement by its minister, Erywan Yusof, said that implementing Sharia law is about prevention rather than punishment, after intense criticism of its decision to implement the strict Islamic code. It said the Sharia law “focuses more on prevention than punishment. Its aim is to educate, deter, rehabilitate and nurture rather than to punish”.
It also said Sharia does not criminalise based on sexual orientation or belief, including same-sex relations. The statement also clarified that for the maximum punishments of amputation or death to be carried out in the case of certain crimes, at least two men of “high moral standing and piety” would have to bear witness. It added that these men would have to live up to “extremely high” standards, making it “[extremely] difficult to find one in this day and age”.
Blah blah blah. If countries like Brunei and Nigeria really cared for its citizens, they wouldn’t threaten them with death and violence. Miss me with that bulls**t. Mtcheww.
Kim Kardashian and her lawyerly plans
Reality star Kim Kardashian is studying to be a lawyer, inspired by her success in helping to win the release from U.S. prisons of two women. Kardashian told Vogue magazine in an interview that she has begun a four-year apprenticeship with a San Francisco-based law firm under a California program for those without formal qualifications.
The “Keeping up with the Kardashians” star said she made the decision last summer after visiting the White House and persuading President Donald Trump to commute a life sentence handed out to a 63-year-old woman in Tennessee for a first drug offense. “I just felt like I wanted to be able to fight for people who have paid their dues to society. I just felt like the system could be so different, and I wanted to fight to fix it, and if I knew more, I could do more,” Kardashian, 38, told Vogue.
I like this. Good way to flash the middle finger to the Ray-Js and Doubting Thomases of this world.
Aisha Falode has a few words for the Super Falcons
President of the Nigeria Women Football League Aisha Falode has told the World Cup-bound Super Falcons to avoid wobbling and fumbling in France as that will amount to making nonsense of their first grade preparation. She said this at the unveiling of the touring World Cup trophy to the public at the Nicon Hilton Abuja on Thursday. She noted that no batch of the Nation’s senior female team has been so well prepared ahead of the World Cup than the current team.
The team according to her did not only get the best of camping, friendly and competitive matches as shape up for the world cup but also have an experienced technical bench that understands what is at stake. “No Super falcon’s team has been given the type of preparation that you have had and so we expect that you will go there and do the needful,” she said.
LOL. Make them leave those ladies alone joor. Nobody don warn Super Eagles like this sef, and yet they are the ones getting hefty bonuses. Pfft.