Top Stories with Uzoma

Like Beckham, Festus Keyamo bends the rule of law

A senior advocate of Nigeria and spokesman for President Muhammadu Buhari’s campaign, Festus Keyamo, said a certificate of the West African Examination Council (WAEC) is not a criterion to contest an election and emerge Nigeria’s president or governor in any state in the country.

“By the definition of ‘School Certificate or its equivalent’ in section 318 of the 1999 Constitution. You don’t need a WAEC certificate to become President or Governor,” Keyamo said in a tweet while reacting to the Osun State governorship election scenario.

“Let me end my free lecture series by saying that the crux of the matter is that if you don’t have a WAEC certificate, there’s no need to go ahead & forge one in a bid to be Governor or President. You can still be qualified, regardless. That’s the mistake made in Osun Case Scenario.”

SMH. This uncle sha. I’m not surprised. No be the same WAEC certificate his boss was struggling to provide? Mtcheew.

 

Nnamdi Kanu the tutor

The Indigenous People of Biafra (IPOB) has said its leader, Nnamdi Kanu will do an expose on the nationality of the presidential candidate of the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP), Atiku Abubakar. It also insisted that the person occupying the seat of Nigeria’s president was not the “real” President Muhammadu Buhari.

IPOB, in a statement by its Media and Publicity Secretary, Emma Powerful, said, “…Our leader, Mazi Nnamdi Kanu, will deliver a special address on Radio Biafra for yet another expose on the fraud called Nigeria and further clarification on the thorny issue of Atiku’s nationality. Those who, over the years, derived joy in propagating the lies that Radio Biafra is about propaganda and hate speech are the ones today relying on it to get factual information on constitutional law in Nigeria. Senior Advocates of Nigeria now depend on Nnamdi Kanu to tutor them on constitutional law and the dysfunctional legal system of Nigeria.”

Please o, I want in. On what platform is this online tutoring happening? Because I’m sure it can’t be here in Nigeria where Olopa dey wait for Oga Kanu? Or is it?

 

Power [and jail term] to the people

Nigerian Senate committee on power, steel development and metallurgy has  recommended a jail term of 10 years without an option of fine for anyone found guilty to have conspired, procured and to hold stolen parts and components of public power equipment in custody.

The committee asked the Senate to consider and pass an amendment of the Electric Power Sector Reform Act No. 6,2005 to prohibit theft of electricity, theft and destruction of electricity supply, infrastructure and prescribe appropriate penalties for violations, and for other related matters, 2019(SB.496).

The commission claimed that stealing and sabotage were responsible for between 30 per cent and 35 per cent energy loss in the country. “If we fail to act decisively in correcting the ills of the power sector, including public power leakage, the opportunity for the country to recover could be lost,” the commission warned.

All ye illegal connection people, hear word now. Because, sincerely, it’ll be better for thunder to strike you than for jail term to fall on you. Kirikiri is not yet smiling.

 

Guinea Worm Ultimate Search

A Medical Scientist and former Deputy Vice-Chancellor of the University of Ilorin, Prof. Luke Edungbola, has pledged to reward anyone who reports any case of guinea worm disease in Nigeria to him or any accredited authority. According to University of Ilorin’s bulletin issued on Monday, Edungbola made the pledge while speaking on the success of eradicating guinea worm disease in Nigeria.

“Ignorance, taboos, insecurity, poor access to clean water and the remote locations of some human settlements, particularly in the North-Western part of the country, extensively aided the spread of the ailment before my intervention.

“I want to thank the University of Ilorin for giving me the impetus, the encouragement, the support, the good will to pursue guinea-worm to eradication status,” he said. The Medical Scientist reiterated that anybody who comes across the disease in any part of the country should report to him, or the relevant agencies.

Nice one Prof. But you should have told us if the reward is monetary. We can’t be blowing whistle for nothing o.

 

Beard gang, germ gang

Researchers at Switzerland’s Hirslanden Clinic have found that men’s beard carry more germs than dogs do in their fur [Yepa!]. Scientists looked at the levels of bacteria lurking in 18 men’s facial hair and 30 dogs from different breeds. “The researchers found a significantly higher bacterial load in specimens taken from the men’s beards compared with the dogs’ fur,” Professor Andreas Gutzeit, of Switzerland’s Hirslanden Clinic, said.

The study was designed to find out if there was a risk of humans picking up a disease from dogs if they used the same MRI scanner as a vet. When the MRI scanners were disinfected, researchers found higher levels of bugs after the men had used it. “On the basis of these findings, dogs can be considered as clean compared with bearded men,” said Dr. Gutzeit.

LOL. I hope you people [una know unaselves] are reading this o. We the Teju Babyface crew are germ-free, and without girlfriends. Show us love biko.

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