Shhhhh: Baba is in the UK to rest for the job ahead
This was made known through a statement by the President’s spokesperson, Femi Adesina. “…President Buhari will be proceeding to the United Kingdom on a private visit. He is expected to return to Nigeria on May 5, 2019,” the statement read.
LOL. Upon say it’s tax payers’ money being used, they won’t tell us what this ‘private visit’ is about. Okay o.
Nigerian senator proffers expensive solution to insecurity
The senator representing Rivers East in the Senate, Andrew Uchendu (APC), has attributed the general insecurity in the nation to youth unemployment.
“Until our youth are engaged, this problem will continue. If we dispose of three of the five vehicles we own and use the proceeds to engage our youth, would it not be better?”
LOL. Oga, speak for yourself o, make your fellow senators no give you general beating. By the way, wetin una dey do with five cars sef? Mtcheew.
FG set to cast out betting, MMM, wonder bank and others
The Federal Government said a series of strategies had already been perfected to flush out illegal lottery operators, especially those involved in Ponzi schemes, from the country. The Permanent Secretary for Special Duties in the office of the Secretary to the Government of the Federation, Mr. Festus Dauda, gave the hint in Abuja on Wednesday.
He said the game became popular with sports betting and promotion activities embarked upon by manufacturers and mobile network service providers. He said, “The Federal Government is doing everything possible to make sure that the illegal operators and quacks in the industry are eliminated.
“That is why we have empowered the regulatory commission with modern technology that would enable them to apprehend all the illegal operators and quacks with a view to prosecuting and sending them to jail.”
Make them no sha touch sports betting o. EPL don hot wella. Boys have their hearts hanging on their betting slips.
Oloja dispenses timely warning
Oloja argued that severance packages for governors have been too fat and that state correspondents of media outfits have been too quiet about the issue even during the general elections. He made the assertions at a lecture organised by the Association of Communication Scholars and Professionals of Nigeria (ACSPN) at Crescent University, Abeokuta, Ogun State.
“Most of the state governors have passed laws that would enable them have access to unfettered enjoyment after leaving office. Where will the money to meet Sustainable Development Goals (SDGs) come from when most governors and ministers travel abroad always?” he quizzed. “Photojournalists need to even report the Abuja estates, those of public and judicial officers. We need to see photographs of their mansions and compare the costs with their salaries.”
Chai. Too much sense will not wound you Sir. And now some politicians are even using The Senate and House of Assembly as retirement homes.
The absurd case of Ross Brain-less
An Edinburgh University gym boss has been sacked for sending a message suggesting a woman who missed class should be ‘raped’.
He sent the message in a WhatsApp group to colleagues at Edinburgh University Sports and Exercise club, discussing potential punishment for a woman who missed an exercise class. One message believed to be from Brain said: “Lets rape her. Or give her the choice of 600 burpees or rape.” When no one responded, he was accused of sending another, saying: “No-one up for this then?”
Students at the prestigious university have slammed the response to Brain’s alleged conduct, which is said to have happened in January, and said supposed ‘zero-tolerance’ policies had not been ‘translated into action’. Students and staff across the university stated in an open letter that they felt ‘unwelcome, unsafe and unsatisfied’ due to the university’s lack of transparency and speed of response to the allegations.
Listen up, ladies and gents: Rape is a crime: physically, morally, and psychologically. Don’t do it. Don’t even think it. Unlike Ross, use your brain. I take God beg una.