Top Stories with Uzoma

Motor-park commentators

The Buhari Media Organisation (BMO) has dismissed The Economist’s analysis of the state of poverty in Nigeria, accusing the magazine of bias.

In a statement by Niyi Akinsiju (chairman) and Cassidy Maduekwe (secretary), the group said, “The Economist’s latest report on the state of poverty in Nigeria is a sheer agglomeration of ill-thought and no reference sources of both primary and secondary data, merely targeted at deriding the present administration in a vicious bid to serve its predetermined agenda. There’s absolutely no way that agglomeration of jaundiced submissions glorifying unverifiable data will pass the test of objectivity and professional analysis.

“Viewed against the background of its obvious efforts to cause disaffection – against the person and administration of the Buhari government through its various rabble-rousing analyses and reports, it is no surprise that the international news medium has joined the bandwagon of motor-park analysts.”

This BMO people are just yeye Defenders of the [Buhari] Galaxy. Mtcheew.

 

A hotline for a pothole

The Governor of Lagos State, Mr Babajide Sanwo-Olu, has said the state would soon release hotlines for residents to call and report their road problems to the government.

“Our public works corporation would come out and start fixing all the potholes on our roads. We would soon publish the numbers that people would be calling to notify us of wherever there are potholes in the state,” he said when he hosted the Muslim faithful in the Lagos House, Alausa, Ikeja, to mark the 2019 Eid-el-Fitri.

He restated his commitment to collaborate with the people of the state for successful implementation of his administration’s policies and programmes.

LOL. Make Oga Sanwo-Olu no restrict the numbers only to bad roads o – because the wahala bedevilling Lagosians too much!

 

surgical bite to remember

An alleged would-be rapist had part of his tongue removed when a doctor bit him when she woke up with him on top of her.

The doctor, 24, was in staff quarters at the hospital where she works in Bloemfontein, South Africa, when the alleged sex assault happened. She fought back when the man posed as a patient to get into the hospital and forced his tongue in her mouth while kissing her.

The suspect, 32, fled Pelenomi Tertiary Hospital and police alerted other hospitals to be on the lookout for him. He turned up at the National Hospital with horrific wounds to his tongue.

Good! With this, the mumu man will get sense and keep his hands – and tongue – to himself.

 

Bribe ke? NFF denies any wrongdoing, backs Aigbogun

The Nigeria Football Federation (NFF) has doused allegations that Flying Eagles coach, Paul Aigbogun, received bribe from players he selected for the U-20 World Cup in Poland.

“It has come to the notice of the Nigerian Football Federation that spurious messages have been doing the rounds on social media with the aim of denting the image of the Flying Eagles coach, Paul Aigbogun and by extension the NFF,” a tweet on the official Twitter handle of the NFF reads. “The backroom staffs are in unison and worked together in peace. Allegations of bribery forcing players on the coaches and others are mere fabrications of the author’s imagination and should not be taken seriously.

“Despite the disappointment of the exit of the Flying Eagles from the tournament in Poland, the NFF still remains unwavering in her commitment to developing youth football in Nigeria. That has been one of the core pillars of the federation and will continue in the same path,” the statement added.

LOL. Thank God say I no stake bet for those boys head. Would have been crying a river by now.

 

Neymar, the football Job

Superstar Neymar was ruled out of the Copa America after tearing his right ankle ligament during Brazil’s 2-0 friendly win over Qatar.

“Due to the seriousness of the injury, Neymar will neither be fit nor have time to recuperate sufficiently to participate” in the tournament, the Brazilian Football Confederation (CBF) said in a statement.

The injury to the world’s most expensive footballer is a big blow to the hosts’ preparations for South American continental championship, which begins in just over a week’s time.

Haba! Neymar don hear am this year o. From reported squabbles with Mbappe to an unconvincing rape case and now this… Village people, three gbosa for una!

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