Fellow Nigerians, it is now a crime to chop ‘food’
In Ado-Ekiti, Ekiti State, an unidentified man was caught and lynched by a mob for munching on a rather bizarre meal of bread and faeces. Yeah, but hold in that vomit for a minute. The act is believed to have been done for ritualistic purposes. Question is, why wasn’t he handed over to the police? What benefit is his death to the Nigerian economy? And the brother was just jejely enjoying his meal o. Nigerians, una too dey vex!
Nigerian police tell homosexuals to pack and go
On her Instagram page, Public Relations Officer of the Zone 2 Police Command, Mrs Dolapo Badmos, ‘has asked homosexuals to flee the country or face the law. She also called on Nigerians who have evidence against homosexuals to come forward with such pieces of evidence.’ Hope you all have heard? Let go of everything you think is important in your life and go out and help the Nigerian police find out who’s climbing who!
Three brothers, united in fraud
At the moment, brothers Efe Sodje, 46 and Stephen Sodje, 43 (both ex-footballers), and ex-rugby player, Bright Sodje, 52, have two things in common: blood running in their veins and a jail term. The brothers are said to have diverted funds meant to ‘provide sporting facilities to youngsters in Nigeria’. In the spirit of Oluwa Burna Boy, when the gbedu of prison life enter their bodies, sense will return to them.
Pay up your light bill, or give up the ghost!
There’s wickedness in this world o. Two electricity companies in Australia have each been fined 40,000 Australian dollars (US $28,589) for cutting power to people on life support. The companies have denied that the act was done on purpose. Smelly lies. It’s my hope that a certain power holding company in Nigeria isn’t taking notes from these errant two.
The Oscars 2019 fever heightens
On a lighter note, the full nomination list of the 91st Academy Awards has been released and features films such as Black Panther, A Star Is Born, Bohemian Rhapsody, Green Book, BlacKkKlansman, etc. The superhero blockbuster Black Panther earned seven nominations. Hopefully, T’Challa and co. will bring Oscars glory to Wakanda.