I saw the video circulating about one of us who killed his wife and later shot himself when the police came.
It’s an old story; this thing happened about three years ago, if I am not mistaken. But even though it is an old story, it is a true story.
It is so true it was very common at one point; from Dallas, to Minnesota to Tennessee; it was common. Nigerian men who had had it up to their ears with their Nigerian wives, killing them out of frustration.
I said one of us because as a Nigerian living in the US, when this kind of tragedy happens, you tell yourself, this could have been me. But one thing I want to say is that any educated person will realise it is not true that we Nigerian men don’t want our wives to make progress abroad, it is completely untrue. We want progress for our wives that is why we made and keep making the sacrifices!
What man wouldn’t like that? It’s just that our women, when they come to America, they lose their heads! A woman that was begging you to come and take her to America will suddenly change once she gets familiar with this place; once she learns the system; she starts demanding rights, rights that she didn’t even know about, she would be demanding and threatening to call the cops on you! Mehn!
You become like a dog to her that she can kick around! It’s a very unfortunate trend and this can make any man lose his head! So that guy in the WhatsApp video lost his head and it can happen to anybody! Although, I don’t know that guy personally but I know what he felt! What drove him to shoot his wife, I know it!
The same is true for many Nigerian men around here; suddenly, they cannot talk in their own houses again without the women calling the cops on them. A man that had suffered for years in this land; a man that had forgone comfort, luxury for years so that he can bring in a wife from home to come and be with him in America; he suffered some more because nurses are well paid here, so he sends his wife to school to become an RN, registered nurse; he paid the bills, he did not send money home to his family because he wanted his wife to get an education as an RN so that at the end of the day, he can at least say, ‘Ha, my suffering was not in vain. I have braved the harsh weathers of this country, I have toiled until my fingers were frozen, I have labored so that my children can be free…at last.’
I tell you, it is just exactly like say someone who has been dreaming of egusi soup and pounded yam. He had suffered to get all the ingredients’ goat meat, o. stockfish o, ugu or bitter leaf, which ever you like egusi, uzizza, which ever ingredient that you like, you have cooked it, pounded the yam, put in a plate and about to wash your hands to eat…in short, you have washed your hands and the aroma of the soup is already making your stomach sing…then somebody comes and holds your hands and say, “Mba, you will not eat this one.” You, tell me, what would you do?
Will you fold your arms and be watching? What would you do?
You will fight the person like an angry lion! Because the person is trying to stop you from eating. That is exactly what you see happening. It is frustration; it is the anger that comes when you have agreed with someone and last minute, the persons says, ‘No, it will not be like we have agreed!”
Many Nigerian women who are RN here treat their husband like rags, they will start telling you what to do and what not to do because they are suddenly earning more than you. some would even kick the man out of the house he had bought long before he brought them to America, they would deny him rights to his own children, who does that?
If oyibo people do that, is that how they raised you in your village?
They forget you were the one who sponsored their education, the one who was there when they were busy studying, the one who did the three jobs so that at the end of the day, we all can live and enjoy this thing together.
Once they qualify and the money starts to come in; it is “Don’t bring your mother to come and live with us,”
“Don’t send money home to your people!”
“Don’t do this, don’t do that!”
“You can’t tell me what to do with my money.”
Is that so? Did you have any money to speak of when i brought you from your village to America? Answer me!
In this particular case, the woman had been sending money home to her people, even to the extent of building a house and she refused for the husband to send money to his own people. You too, look at it, is it fair? Is it a good thing? Yes, the money comes from her but you seem to forget something, without the husband, without the sacrifices he made to bring her from Nigeria to America, to send her to school, would she have that money? Aren’t they supposed to ne husband and wife?
And this is very common here with Nigerian female RN, their husbands can’t open their mouths to talk without them calling the cops and sending the man packing out of his own house!
You people are too harsh in your judgements!
I am not advocating that the man did the right thing by shooting her dead, or the others who killed their wives, no. I mean, look at the disaster they have put their children in but then again, the man was driven to commit this crimes! He was!
(Series written and edited by Peju Akande and based on true stories)