I met my wife on Facebook; that was about 5 years ago. The photo she put as her profile photo was not her real photo but you know women can be very deceptive.
She told me she was a Master’s holder from Unilag and that she was in one highly paying company in Lagos. I found out that half of these were true. she works in a media company and the money is not that fantastic.
The first time we went on a date, I liked what I saw. I am the type of man that like a figure 8 woman and she had it; everything I like about a woman, she had it, so I said to her, why did you put the photo of a slim woman on your profile photo, you are even more beautiful than that person. What I saw was a lady who had no self-confident. She is the buxom type, and for me, that is super. I like that in my woman.
So in a way, i helped her boost her confidence, that was how we began to date.
We dated for about 18months and I proposed.
Why did I propose?
Shuo! After dating a lady for 18 months, you will know whether you want marriage or not and when you know and you are ready, what more are you waiting for?
And another thing was, I was already 35 years old then, what else would I be waiting for? I met someone online, nothing wrong with that, is there? After all there are several people who meet on dating apps, my own is even good, it is Facebook; it is an open place, with several mutual friends, so they will know if this one na wahala. Anyway, we started out as friends and we became lovers and so far, though I found out she wasn’t a Masters holder, she only has a PGD but it’s ok, if it makes her feel good, I don’t have any problem with that. I am not a Masters or PGD holder so what is my business with that?
Anyway, I wanted to settle down and start a family. I met her family, they were not fantastic but how many people have fantastic in laws? I am a very realistic man.
We did the registry wedding and she moved into my house. I planned to do the traditional at a much later date…we still haven’t been able to do it, after living together for more than three years now because we lost a pregnancy of a set of twins that almost took her life.
She was about 6 months gone; my mother had already moved in with us because the doctor had warned that my wife will give birth prematurely. Unfortunately, we lost the babies, a boy and a girl.
Good thing my mother was there to help nurse my wife back to good health, so you see, under that condition, we couldn’t even begin to discuss wedding. After about 6 months, again, my wife became pregnant and this time we were told that she must stop working after just about 4 months gone.
Again, she lost the pregnancy!
Of course we were all distraught. I may not be the one carrying pregnancy but I am also involved. Very involved, so I felt the pain as well. I have lost three children, that is what it means to me.
Anyway, after that, my wife just changed. She became hostile to me and my mother in the house. My mother especially. I was angry of course. This is a woman who came from the village to look after you when you were sick. Besides, I won’t take any rubbish from anyone treating my mother like trash.
As if my wife is under a curse, she began to tell people that my mother is a witch and she is the reason we have been losing her pregnancies!
Can you imagine the madness?
My mother practically raised me single handedly. I am what I am today because of that woman and I will not stand by and watch another woman badmouth her, it won’t happen under my roof because I am not a bastard!
I told my wife, o ‘you can’t continue to accuse, my mother of witch craft and continue to live in my house, make up your mind, either you keep quiet and behave yourself or you leave my house.’
Omo, she left, o.
These women these days, she packed her bags and left one day before I came back from work. My mother called me that afternoon to say my wife had hired a taxi and was packing her load inside. I just told mama to leave her.
See me see wahala, o
I was looking through her Facebook page the other day and I saw I had been unfriended! Me, her husband, blocked from her facebook page, ok, o.
Should I go and beg her to come back or what? I love the woman, sha. I really do.
(series written and edited by Peju Akande and based on true stories)