Reflections on judging peopleSocial media challenges have a way of sucking people in, I just don’t get it sometimes. Someone starts something and people rush to execute the challenge which makes it go viral. Whenever I discover another challenge on social media, I wonder who the brainiac that started it is. Dance challenges are usually the most popular: usually, artists promoting their songs or influencers looking to build or maintain engagement. Then there are the challenges that require one to do something silly, for some certain reason, these go viral too! People definitely like seeing other people act stupid sometimes.
The challenges that confuse me are the ones that require one to divulge some sort of information that should most likely remain private. Someone once alluded to these challenges being started by intelligence forces or data harvesters. I wouldn’t be surprised if this is true. The latest viral challenge fits this mould as it requires people to share some hitherto personal information, the more scandalous the better, and then repeat: “We listen, we don’t judge”. Oh my oh my, the things my ears have heard, shocking!#Granted, there have been some tame revelations: “When I was 10, I stole meat from my mother’s pot”, “I skipped a week of school to party in another town”, “I once watched my baby cry and I didn’t do anything about it” Yeah, these are things that people do so I guess we’re used to hearing these type of confessionals now and again. Some may be surprising though, depending on the individual, but most often, not shocking…. we listen, we don’t judge right?
Then there are the over-the-top ones: “I am going to break the world record for sleeping with the most men in 24 hours,” “My best friend’s dad is my sugar daddy,” and “I once beat up my partner”. Again, these types of revelations may not surprise some people but I’d wager that it’s shocking to more people than others. In my opinion, we listen and this time, we judge, yes we judge!
People will always do whatever they want, whether logical or illogical, good or bad, expected or otherwise. As we all have free will, we are at liberty to do anything we want but that doesn’t mean we do. Some people can restrain themselves from judging others and keep their opinions or thoughts to themselves. They can also ensure that whatever they think about others does not influence how they relate with the person. The greater majority of people, however, do not have this level of self-control.
People will always be judged, whether they like it or not, whether they know it or not. We are judged for things we do and don’t do, for what we have done and are doing, and even for things we are yet to do. We are judged for things within our control and also things we have no influence over. We are even judged privately and publicly, it’s like we can’t catch a break!#I always find it funny when people say: “This is a no-judgment zone, please feel free to share your thoughts or ask any questions”. In reality, what they probably mean is that you will not be judged publicly but by Jove, you will be judged, trust me. If you dare say anything that goes against the grain, trust me, most people will judge you. What their mouths can’t speak will be revealed by their actions. The funny thing is that such people may have even done worse things!#People should accept that they will most likely be judged at all times. Seeing that we cannot control how other people relate to us, we might as well control how we relate to them, right? If we know and accept that we will be judged for everything we do, perhaps we will find it easier to take risks or be more daring. Maybe it would help us take full responsibility for our lives and actions rather than occasionally blaming people who have no direct influence on us. Perhaps we will be kinder to ourselves rather than let other people’s opinions influence how we see ourselves.
Now, I am not necessarily campaigning for one to become irresponsible (who determines this by the way?), rather I am simply advocating for people to live life knowing that they cannot do anything about people observing and judging their every move. If we know that we have a full audience critiquing every step we take, maybe we will be our true selves and do whatever it is we want to do without excuses. Perhaps we won’t blame people for things we do not take responsibility for as we admit to ourselves that we knew exactly what we were doing.
Wondering what people would say before we take action is probably one of the things that have held many people back from doing some of the things they would love to do. If we live our lives subject to what people think or say, aren’t we handing over responsibility for our lives?
Many people are very concerned about maintaining and projecting a particular image because they want to be viewed in a certain way. Unfortunately, because this isn’t their true self, they may end up eventually self-sabotaging. The very thing they were trying to avoid in the first place then becomes what they are exposed to.
Accept this fact: you will be judged whether you like it or not, whether you deserve it or not, whether you conform or not. People will always have opinions, and they will always talk, whether to you directly or to others. They may even look at you in a certain way but should you let these actions determine what you do? As long as you know you are on the straight and narrow, should you be worried about how others perceive the life you live? Why really should we care what anyone thinks or says? And if you decide to go wild and do whatever comes to your mind, sane or insane, you should put on a show whilst also taking responsibility for your actions, with your full chest as we say it. This is the way I see things today.