Here’s why avoiding conflict at work is a terrible mistake.
I’m sure you’ll agree with me if I suggest human beings generally want to avoid conflict.
“Most of the time we’re trying to get on with people,” says professor of conversation analysis at Loughborough University, Liz Stokoe. Even when we disagree, we try to signal that we want to stay on friendly terms, by our words, body language, and even rhythms of speech.
Having diversity of ideas means people will disagree.
“We’re trying to make concessions,” says Stokoe. “We’re constantly monitoring our conversations to try and put people in a position where it’s easy for them to agree with us.”
We’re especially inclined to avoid friction at work. Who wants to start a dispute with somebody you have to sit beside, eight hours a day? If your workmate is your boss, there’s even less incentive to dissent. But this may be entirely the wrong approach, according to Amy E. Gallo, author of The Harvard Business Review Guide To Dealing With Conflict At Work.
“Everyone thinks they want to work in this peaceful utopia where everyone gets along,” she says, “but if we don’t disagree, we’re not going to produce good work, it’s just not possible.”
Having diversity of ideas means people will disagree.
“I see organisations all the time talk about wanting diverse perspectives, inclusive work environments,” says Gallo, “and when they stunt disagreements, they’re basically saying, ‘we don’t want to hear different opinions.’ It’s an important way to bring out different perspectives, and to create more successful work.”
In science, for example, new theories are not just tested by experiment, but also challenged by other researchers. Professor Stuart Firestein of Columbia University thinks these challenges are vital – even when he is on the receiving end.
Organisations talk about wanting diverse perspectives, inclusive work environments, when they stunt disagreements, they’re basically saying, ‘we don’t want to hear different opinions’
“We have on many occasions in my laboratory submitted a manuscript for publication, and a reviewer has found some significant flaw in it,” he says. “I’m very thankful for that, because I could have gone ahead and published this, and been dead wrong in public. Now it’s just me and this reviewer who knew that I’m an idiot.”
You could call science a system for harnessing this testing process.
“Science is a structure that is intended to permit disagreement,” says Firestein. “I can remember going to meetings with people yelling at each other, but then they’d go to the bar and drink, and that’s the way it’s supposed to work. There’s a relationship of respect in spite of how much you disagree with somebody.” Read more