It’s a New Year and I am sure that many of us having reflected on the activities and happenings of the past year. Some of us have set our goals and made resolutions in tandem with the themes inspired by our various religious bodies to describe the New Year.
I don’t know about you but last year was for me, the acknowledgment of the major role my subconscious self-played in shaping my choices using and lifestyle. I became acutely aware of what goes on in my mind. I pondered on how my will and emotions shaped my thoughts. My perspective to things in life and how they both sought to control and get the better of me sometimes. I was blindsided so many times, by my mind which brought up strong persuasive arguments to justify its position and my flesh flipped desires so swiftly that I hardly could refuse it.
This year I haven’t written goals like I normally did. I have just put down things I would love to achieve and experience without any timelines. For I now understand that everything good will come because I so desire.
They may not come within the time frame that I set for them, though. I have purposed not to put myself through a wringer in a bid to achieve what I want but to enjoy the journey to my desires by allowing them to happen at the right time. So long as I am doing the right things to make them happen.
I am concentrating on answering the following questions because I believe that when I answer them correctly, all that I desire will come to pass.
WHO AM I?
They say adversity acquaints a man with himself and I say challenges and pleasures do the same. Everything in life asks the question, who are you? What makes me that unique person that I am? The answer to this question which must be answered on its own and not in the context of what. It may be one’s present situation and predicament, something that helps us to know what goals to pursue. My understanding of my person, my outlook in life, has made me write the way I do. I seek to talk about things we are afraid to talk about and acknowledge. This enabled me have a career shift; jettisoning adversarial practice for alternative dispute resolution such as mediation.
So before you write those goals down, ask if they fit the kind of person you are.
WHAT DO I WANT?
Someone asked me this question recently and I struggled with the answer not because I didn’t know what I wanted but because I couldn’t say it for fear of rejection and being told what I wanted, impossible. Because of society and my past experiences, I have tried to modify my answers and stated what I thought the person wanted to hear. However, as I have thought more about that question I have faced the truth and admitted to myself that not only was it okay to want what I wanted but I could get it. It has now become a goal I will pursue instead of compromising my desires.
So what do you want in every area of life? Are you bold enough to acknowledge what you want? Are you aware that what you want today may change tomorrow and that your age? Knowledge and circumstances make for different desires. Knowing what you want in every area of life enables you set goals that will bring satisfaction.
WHAT SEASON AM I IN?
This is a rather important question. Just like nature, we all go through different seasons in our lives and they greatly impact our goals and desires. It is also a fact that we may find ourselves in different seasons in different areas of our lives. For instance, it may be the summer season at work with promotions, progress and an acknowledgement of our hard work and at the same time, the winter season in our marriages. Knowing what season one is at, helps greatly with the goals they would have because the different seasons have different outcomes and not understanding our seasons will lead to much heartache.
Knowing what seasons we are in helps us manage our expectations and most importantly makes us not envious or given to comparing ourselves with others. Lastly, it enables us to give ourselves fully into what we need to make that season work for us. Everybody’s season is unique and we will all not be in the same season at the same time.
As you write your goals look closely at the trends of your life and determine what season you are in. Love it. Accept it. Make the most of it. Understand that others may not be in the same season that you are in and make exceptions for them. Finally don’t push yourself or others beyond your capabilities and readiness. Seasons change and are in cycles.
WHAT NEW THINGS WILL I TRY?
There is the saying “nothing ventured, nothing gained.” People at the end of their lives, tend to regret what they didn’t pursue over what they did. Trying new things, new cultures, new food, new adventures should be part of the goals we set for ourselves every year. As we expand our horizons we will experience a more rounded and fulfilling life. Let go of inhibitions and be more prepared to handle challenges.
WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT?
It is true that the important things in life cannot really be valued and are a basically a state of being. When we know what is important to us; things like – self-respect, comfort, laughter, peace, being true to oneself etc, I becomes easy to achieve goals.
Of course, what is important differs from person to person but they are the real reasons we make the decisions and choices we make in life. Figuring out what is important will help us see distractions for what they are. For example, if what is important to me in my relationships is peace, I will learn not to sweat the small stuff and choose my battles rather than complain about everything.
WHAT DOES SUCCESS LOOK LIKE TO ME?
Have you successfully accomplished a goal and found out that you didn’t like what it looked like? You are in good company. A lot of people have reached their goals only to discover they didn’t like or enjoy the view from there. Before you set that goal, try to visualize what achieving it would look like and ask yourself if it would be worth it in the long run? The example that comes readily to mind is that of relocating abroad. For some people it will be the best decision, for others they will regret it because they didn’t consider all the parameters that are involved in succeeding at the goal.
Please note that I am in no way saying that we shouldn’t set goals or even make them SMART all I am saying is before you set your goals, think deep as to what those goals mean to you. Why you want them and lastly know that your goals do not have to be achieved within a timeframe but that they will be achieved if you work towards them. Enjoy the journey and not being bothered by time limits.
Here’s to a fulfilling and intentional 2023