Thoughts of Homecoming: Balancing Love, Nostalgia and Expenses
The festive season is typically a time for Nigerians to “return to base.” Some people take an annual trip to their hometowns to celebrate with family. Some gather together with family wherever they are and that is home. Many others come to the country from abroad to either spend time with family, in the city or the hometown or have fun with friends and enjoy the active Lagos party scene. In the last few years with Detty December, we have probably seen an even greater influx of people, Nigerians and non-Nigerians who come to party like they have no problems in this life.
For Nigerians who live in Nigeria and regularly make the trip home in December, it is likely that things will change a bit. As the economy has not been smiling, many people have had to rethink their travel decisions. For those who either choose not to travel or usually spend the holidays in the city, even large family gatherings and parties may need to be reconsidered as the cost of merriment has gone up.
For those coming into the country, however, the inverse seems to be the case judging by the number of foreign accents competing for airtime in public spaces: restaurants, clubs, airports, etc. Lagos has somewhat gained a reputation for the December social life and more people are curious to know what that’s all about. Even though the cost of many things has gone up, the exchange rate still works in the Diasporeans’ favour, so they very often get more for less.
Homecoming is something a lot of people look forward to. To go or not to go, that is the question. Is it wise to brave the financial expenses involved with travelling to Nigeria and/ or one’s hometown or should one just stay put wherever they are and save money? The answer to these questions can only be revealed when one considers all of the relevant costs involved and not just the financial costs. Even the people in the diaspora have to answer that question because flight tickets are not cheap at all. Although the exchange rate favours them, they still have to spend money.
Going home is no longer a simple flight or road trip; it’s a financial commitment with no refund policy. Have you seen what the airlines and transport companies are charging these days? Do you know that the rates keep increasing with each passing day? If you didn’t buy your ticket months in advance then you only have yourself to blame. If you were somehow able to rustle up the transportation fare, that’s your first achievement but know that further billing lies ahead.
Showing up at home is sometimes a surprise to family members especially if one hasn’t been home in a long time. That element of surprise is one of the unquantifiable benefits one gets by coming home: you can never put a price on it. And of course, you cannot just appear at home by yourself, just like that. Yes, your family has missed you but trust me, that feeling dries up seconds after the hugs and kisses have been exchanged. “Wetin you bring come?” is the next thing you will hear. You have to get gifts for as many family members as you can, sometimes even the neighbours as they are practically family. Since a lot of people will be home for the holidays, it’s usually also a good time to hold a lot of family and community events. Something will always happen on the social scene and you are expected to contribute your part: your financial part that is and this is another source of billing.
Our Diaspora kin, however, don’t have to worry so much about getting gifts for the family and contributing to events. Don’t get me wrong though, I am not implying that they have brought their entire bank account to Nigeria, far from it. Many already plan their trips months in advance even as they also begin saving towards it. Since they can get more bang for their buck due to the favourable exchange rates, they are more likely to have more disposable cash.
In recent times, the favourable exchange rate is probably one of the things that has encouraged more people in the diaspora to come home for the year-end festivities. Every two seconds, they request the daily exchange rate and either do some mental maths or whip out their phone calculator. It is a huge blessing for diaspora Nigerians and it makes them “big spenders” once they get into town. This is probably also a small downside since everyone knows how beneficial the FX rate is for them. They are also likely to receive much more financial requests from people than those resident in Nigeria. They automatically become instant celebrities during the festivities as they are always “dropping something for the boys”.
Whether one is coming to Nigeria from abroad or going to one’s hometown, that homecoming feeling remains priceless. Spending time with people you may not have seen in a while even if you speak and chat with them often, reliving shared experiences from times past, bearing one another’s burden, and discussing the future are all ways we reconnect during these festive times.
Going home also involves visiting old stomping grounds and discovering new places, creating new memories for the future. Indulging in various local delicacies cooked with heart and soul is another plus and this is usually high on the list for many people. Whether they are eating Mama’s cooking, visiting a mama put or restaurant, or even eating at a party, the culinary adventure is a compulsory one.
Homecoming is also a great time to encourage younger family members to connect with their roots. Whether they are learning about family or communal history, seeing how people live in their hometown, or even picking up a few words in their native dialect if they can’t speak, these are all opportunities to encourage connection with the motherland. We are a communal people and maintaining our roots is a cultural practice we should always encourage.
Eventually, it is time to say our goodbyes and return to the city or the country we departed. Elaborate farewells involving photo sessions with everyone possible, repeated hugs and back rubs, various reminders about needs at home, and subtle hints for even more money will escort you to your abode: “Don’t forget the money for school fees” or “Remember the house rent is due in a few weeks.”
Even though we may not see each other for another year or longer, we are encouraged by the memories we have recreated which we hope will keep us all till we meet again. Even though our pockets and bank accounts will be much lighter, we are comforted with the knowledge that a price can never be placed on family time.
If you are unable to go home this year, for whatever reason, you can recreate home wherever you are and find comfort in knowing that “home is where the heart is.” This is the way I see things today.