Are you one of those looking for a soulmate?

The recent release of pictures into the public domain by the alleged second wife of late Jerry Rawlings has prompted much argument about soulmates and whether or not it is proper to have a soulmate in another person other than one’s spouse. 

The discourse emanating has been rather revealing and interesting, I have discovered that so many people believe in the existence of soulmates. Many of them have not found theirs yet, but they believe that somewhere out there in the big, wide universe, there is someone who is made just for them and that if and when they do meet, nothing will stop them from being together. Most of the people who hold this view are convinced that the emotional connection between soulmates is automatic, immediate, strong, deep and irresistible and that until you find your soulmate you will wander like a ship lost at sea without a sense of being complete.

An appreciable number of the people believe that one’s soulmate should be the person one is married to and that finding a soulmate outside of marriage is an anomaly mostly birthed by the desire to have long lasting affairs. They also believe that  a soulmate is not necessarily a lover and need not be someone of the opposite sex, as soulmates exist in a myriad of relationships apart from marriage. 

The discourse emanating has been rather revealing and interesting, I have discovered that so many people believe in the existence of soulmates. Many of them have not found theirs yet, but they believe that somewhere out there in the big, wide universe, there is someone who is made just for them and that if and when they do meet, nothing will stop them from being together. Most of the people who hold this view are convinced that the emotional connection between soulmates is automatic, immediate, strong, deep and irresistible and that until you find your soulmate you will wander like a ship lost at sea without a sense of being complete.

An appreciable number of the people believe that one’s soulmate should be the person one is married to and that finding a soulmate outside of marriage is an anomaly mostly birthed by the desire to have long lasting affairs. They also believe that  a soulmate is not necessarily a lover and need not be someone of the opposite sex, as soulmates exist in a myriad of relationships apart from marriage. 

The concept of soulmates is similar to what is known in Christian circles as soul ties. Soul ties are said to be emotional connections to individuals and they are taken very seriously by Christians who mostly pray against having them with the wrong person. The Bible refers to souls as being drawn, knitted and joined. In Genesis 34:1-3, in describing the affections of Shechem the son of Hamor the Hivite for Dinah the daughter of Jacob, the Bible states that his soul was drawn towards her. Also in 1st Samuel 18:1, it was said that the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.

It is my personal belief that the movie industry has contributed immensely in propagating the idea that there exists someone to whom one’s soul is knit or joined and that until we are in such a person’s arms we will never be truly or totally happy. An example of how the industry fuels the desire for a soulmate can be seen in the general review of the Netflix series “Soulmates” which began late last year.  

“In the very near future, a test is developed that incontrovertibly lets a person know who their soulmate is. The new science is clear, and no matter a person’s current relationship status, whether they are single, dating or even married, this test will unmistakably point a person in the direction of their actual, scientifically determined soulmate. People in long-term relationships should not be content with believing they’ve already made the right choice. Even if a person seems to be deeply in love with their current partner, this test may just prove that they are mistaken. After all, science knows best.”

Although majority of people are besotted with the idea that the connection between soulmates is automatic, most people who have a soul connection with their partners or other people are quick to state that although there might be a chemical reaction between parties, most relationships that have thrived have done so by the intentional, conscious and active participation of both parties rather than an obscure but strong feeling of attraction.  

It is true that soulmates do exist; I, however, have certain reservations about the proposition that there exists one person with whom one is destined to do life with and if you don’t you will never be happy.  I am aware of several couples who once described themselves as soulmates, who have now separated and are now with other persons though most of them remain friendly towards one another. It is my humble opinion that the search for a soulmate has led many to jettison their peace and calm springs for troubled springs and rough seas ignorant in their thinking that one day their Prince Charming or princess Fiona will suddenly appear and complete them.

It’s most probably the reason why someone will console themselves with being the soulmate of a married man or woman whilst his/her erstwhile soulmate lives and does life with another person placing them in the shadows. and it is the most likely reason why many are in the divorce courts because they don’t seem to have that deep connection they seek with their current spouses. I however 

Having a soulmate is best described as having someone with whom you have a deep emotional and even spiritual connection with, someone with whom you feel at home, who understands you intuitively and accepts you without hesitation , a ying to one’s yang but it is more than an obscure feeling it’s a fanning,  honing, a working through and out the initial emotions into an enviable union.

Soulmates- they most often don’t just happen. 

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