See, when I saw that girl, something told me to be careful.
“Solomon, that girl is too young for you” the still small voice told me.
But did I listen? Whosai. You know what they say na, “an erect penis has no conscience.”
I had seen her beautiful face with the aquiline nose, her pert breasts straining against her t-shirt, and her tuke-tuke yansh as she bent to get me sugar from the shelves.
Omo, I knew I had to get that girl into my bed.
She said her name was Tina.
“My name is Solomon, I live at No. 14. My friends call me Yellow”
That made her laugh and I watched as he mouthed yellow to herself.
She told me she was in Year 2 at the University of Ibadan but was home because of the strike.
I asked her whether she had a number. She said yes.
I typed it into my phone then dialed her number. It rang and she answered.
“Is this your Whatsapp number?” I asked and she nodded, a shy smile playing around her lips.
“Ok, I will chat you up on Whatsapp,” I said as I pocketed my phone and dropped N5,000 on the counter.
“That’s for you,” I said and she said thanks.
There was a snake in my pants as I walked home. It had been easier than I thought. The first time I saw her, her auntie who owned the shop was there and so I could not make my move. She was there the second and third time too.
So, when I was walking back and saw that she was alone, I rushed to buy what I didn’t even need.
By the third night she had sent me a photo of her boobs. I had an instant erection the moment I saw them.
“When will you come and visit me?” I asked
“When u invite me. Lol.”
“I am inviting you now now.”
“lol. Ok. I will come briefly when we close.”
And just like that she knocked on my door around 9pm and when I opened she fell into my arms. We were kissing before I could shut the door then by the time we got to my room, her left breast was in my mouth.
I was reaching inside her jeans when she finally came up for air.
“My period,” she said.
“Oh,” I said and went back to her boobs.
She spent about 3o mins then promised to come on Sunday evening “when my auntie goes for house fellowship,” she said.
“My period will stop on Friday or Saturday so Sunday will be okay. Buy condoms o,” she told as she pocketed the N5,000 I gave her.
See, I am a 38 year old man and I have slept with plenty girls but chai, I have never been so expectant about sex.
“Yellow, buy gossamer condoms o, they are good for doing young girls,” my friend Ralph said.
“Which one again is gossamer?” I asked.
He said it was the condom made from the lightest latex. So, the next day I went to the pharmacy and bought 2 packs.
Now everything began to go wrong on Saturday evening when Ralph came with something wrapped in a newspapers.
“Yellow, chew this thing before she come and she no go forget you,” he said with that naughty smile
“What is this one again?”
“Na Burantashi. E go make your thing strong and thick. And you go last.”
“I dey last when I wear condom na” I told him.
“That no be lasting na. Chew this thing first and thank me later.”
Tina buzzed around 2pm to say she would be a bit late because her auntie wanted her to wait for someone who was bringing something to the house in the evening.
“So when will you get here?” I asked via Whatsapp
“Lyk 5.30. Sorry.” She replied
Ralph had said to chew it at least 30 mins before action so around 5.15pm, I put the thing in my mouth and began to chew.
By 5.30, mister man was standing at attention.
Wonderful, I thought as I admired the thing.
“O boy, the thing work o.” I sent to Ralph who replied with a clapping emoji.
But there was now a problem. It was 5.45pm, mister man was throbbing and hungry but Tina had not shown.
That was when I panicked and sent a message. The reply got me into worse panic.
“Ahh, there is wahala o. My mum was the person coming. She and my auntie wanted to surprise me. Sorry, I can’t make it today. I will come tmorrow nite.”
Tomorrow night ke. Jesu. I was in trouble.
You know why they call me yellow, because I am fair like oyinbo. Now, when I looked at my mister man I saw the thing was turning red and it was now throbbing. Quick, I opened my phone to her photos, I grabbed Vaseline and began to stroke. Nothing. The thing was throbbing and getting redder and redder.
That was when I called Ralph.
“O boy I am in trouble!”
Ralph drove down.
“Na hospital o. if you take Burantashi and you no chook, na wahala o.”
Why didn’t he tell me this before na?
I wore my jalabiya to conceal the erection and together we went to this hospital near our area.
The doctor was in the theater so the two nurses we met said they could give me a hand job so that I can cum and it will come down but I had to pay N5,000. By this time my thing was red and the veins were bulging so much I thought it would explode. I gave them the money.
30 minutes o and they were still stroking. By this time, my dick was red and sore and the pain was mad.
That was when the doctor finally came out, took a look at me and asked them to stop. Then he asked for my story.
“Oga you have what we call priapism,” he said. I will give you two injections. One to bring it down and another to make you sleep. Next time make sure the bird is in the cage before you start chewing.”