I wake up and Taiye is not beside me.
I stretch and pull on my boxers, trying to remember how and when we got to bed.
I remember Taiye waking me up and then both of us stumbling to bed.
I drink some water from the bottle by my bed side and then go to the bathroom. My pee is long and relief inducing. Done, I wash my hands then brush my teeth.
Taiye is sitting naked on my couch. A mug of tea is on the center table and she is watching CNN.
“Good morning bobo mi,” she says patting the space beside her.
“I thought rapture happened and you made it,” I said as we kissed.
“As I should,” Taiye said and laughed. “There is still tea in the pot. I can warm it for you,” she said but I offered to do it myself.
It was all bad news from America to Italy, South Africa to Nigeria.
As soon as I set my empty mug down, Taiye jumped up, her twin peaks jiggling.
“Come let’s shower like Igbo people.”
“Igbo people! How do Igbo people shower,” I asked.
“Together,” said taking my hand.
“Igbo people shower together. Who told you that?” I asked as we stepped into the bathroom.
“We had a neighbour growing up. Mr. Damian Udeh, tall and huge Igbo man like this. Once he got back home from work, his wife would leave whatever she was doing and announce with glee:“Abeg, make I go shawa with my oga.”
“And she told you it was an igbo thing,” I asked, stepping in behind her, my pingolo already at attention and digging into her soft back side.”
“Yup,”Taiye said, standing on tiptoe and pushing back at me so my whatchamacallit slid into her wetness.
“I told you it was an Igbo thing,” she said moving slowly, back and forth.
“You are a cow,” I said as I matched her pace.
We were at it for a while before Taiye, disengaged and picked up the soap. She soaped me all over then handed me the soap to return the favour and then we stood under the shower to wash off.
But Taiye was a water lover and I had to leave her under the shower.
“Where are you going?” she asked as I pulled down my towel.
“To get you a towel,” I said.
“Liar, come back here joor.”
“See T, if I stay longer under that shower, I will sprout a leaf.”
I gave her a towel then went to my room to get dressed.
“I feel like eating moi moi,” Taiye announced as she dried herself.
“Ha, where will we buy that in this quarantine?” I asked.
“I have blended beans. I will make it. Give me an hour,” and not missing a beat, she dropped the towel then walking out naked headed back to her place.
I stood there open mouthed. I had never met a woman who was so comfortable naked.
Dressed, I did my push ups, checked my email ad called my children.
“Haba, we didn’t see your brake light yesterday,” Aramide said the moment she answered the call.
“So sorry, time passed.”
“Of course, time passes when you are having fun,” she teased.
“Madam, leave me o. How are the kids?”
“Alright, just a lil upset that Dada didn’t call yesterday.”
“Rub it in. Lemme talk to them joor.”
The kids were alright and once the call was done, I turned off my TV and knocked on Taiye’s door. It was ajar so I pushed it open, stepped in and called out.
“Here, in the kitchen,” she answered.
She was still naked save for the apron. Music was playing softly from a small speaker on the deep freezer as she poured in blended beans and ingredients into nylon bags.
“Come give me a kiss,” she said as I slapped her on the bum.
We kissed for a while and I was sure that if her hands were not all messy, Taiye would have wanted more.
“Who is singing?” I asked
“JP Saxe featuring Julia Michaels. ‘If the World Was Ending’”
“That’s Apt,” I said
“Soundtrack to these scary times,” she said as she put the nylon bags into the boiling pot of water.
She washed her hand and then we retired to the living room.
Another song was playing and Taiye was singing as she retrieved a bottle of wine from her cabinet.
“I got so high that I saw Jesus/He said it’s all gonna be okay.”
“T, that’s blasphemy you know,” I told her as I took the glass she offered me.
“Lol. It’s just a song, man,” she said then leaned over and kissed me and as we kissed I realised that even though we had had sex every day since we started, Taiye and I had not really kissed.
She was a good kisser and I set my glass down so we could really make out and this being Taiye, she moved from my lips to my nipples, her tongue and lips teasing and sucking until I had a huge cobra in my pants.
“You have lovely lips,” I said, taking her face in my palms and kissing her full on the lips.
“My other lips are better,” she said laying on her back and opening her legs.
“Taiye!” I cried but she just laughed and opened her legs wider.
It was the smell of burning that finally made us stop but only after I had eaten her to two orgasms.
We ate the moi moi, which was delicious, with white garri and sugar soaked in very cold water.
Done, we watched some Narcos and then fell asleep on the couch.
When I woke up, Taiye was at the dining table, her laptop open in front of her. I was surprised to see that she had glasses on.
“You wear glasses?” I asked as I walked over to kiss her.
“Yeah. Something came up at work. Some issues with the NPA. This pandemic is causing stevedoring wahala,” she said as our kiss broke.
“Now, I know why they called you a milf,” I said and she threw her pen at me.
I picked up the pen and dropped it back on the table, then passed water before taking a can of malt from the fridge.
“Remind me, what is stevedoring again?” I asked
“It’s just our fancy term for loading and unloading ships. With this virus offloading vessels will be difficult. The NCDC said they found six positive cases on a vessel and the NPA is wondering how, since the Port Health Authority did not record any such incident especially since the agreed protocol is that any ship with a sick crew member on board must fly two yellow flags. Wo, let me not bore you joor. I have sent out the emails and they will be alright.”
I sat down and waited for her to finish and while she worked I checked my email and social media feed. Dangote had donated ambulances, I saw on twitter and the positive cases had jumped from 70 to 89. 19 in one day and Benue state had entered the league table. But the big news was that Kaduna state governor, Nasir El Rufai had tested positive.
“I want you to put your wee wee in my wee wee,” Taiye said as she came to sit with me.
“That can be arranged,” I told her as I leaned in to kiss her..
“If the world is ending, I want to go out well f%$ked,” she told me as she bit slightly on my lower lip.“So, your bed or mine?” she asked, taking me by the hand.
“My balls are in your court,” I said as I walked with her to her bedroom.
Terrible. This Is Lagos has turned to pornograghy! This is in very bad taste