I recently attended a fashion fair, moving from stall to stall with growing déjà vu. Though the fabrics varied, the designs were eerily similar—kimonos with Aso-Oke patches, Aso-Oke pants, embroidered kaftans. Nothing truly stood out. I realised I could’ve bought virtually the same outfit from multiple vendors.
A similar feeling washed over me when I spotted a young woman on the street. She looked familiar—not because I knew her, but because I’d seen 10 versions of her just that week. Same makeup. Same brows. Same front-lace wig. Same corset dress. Same phone pose. Was she beautiful? Yes. Was she memorable? No.
This is what trends have done to us.
Every few weeks, there’s a new must-have—an aesthetic we’re pressured to adopt, often at the cost of our uniqueness. Somewhere along the way, many of us have traded individuality for mass appeal, forgetting that true style isn’t about blending in—it’s about standing out:
- A viral style everyone is rushing to tailor in Asooke or Ankara.
- A skincare product promoted by three influencers in one day.
- A viral TikTok audio that suddenly makes us want to redecorate our whole home.
- A trending wig style that makes us toss our perfectly good wig aside.
- A “soft life” lifestyle complete with travel content, candles, and robes that make us drool even though we are broke and exhausted
- A ridiculously expensive, scary and ugly as hell bag charm.
- A stainless steel cup is touted to keep things cool for days even though we don’t drink tea or coffee or even water on the go.
In a world where “what’s trending” often feels more important than “what’s true,” we are slowly but surely drowning in sameness. We’re buying things we don’t need, wearing things we don’t like, and living lives that aren’t truly ours—all because we want to stay relevant.
Don’t get me wrong, trends in themselves are not the enemy. Fashion evolves. Technology changes. Tastes shift. That’s normal. The problem is when we let trends dictate who we are. When we blindly follow the crowd and start to lose the very thing that makes us special: our individuality.
We start out just “trying something new,” and before we know it, we’re two salaries deep into a lifestyle we can’t afford and don’t even enjoy.
That new bag that doesn’t fit our wallet but looks good in mirror selfies.
That makeup product that’s not our shade, but “is the trend.”
Those expensive press-on nails we can’t type with but had to get for a party we hustled to attend.
It’s no longer about function or self-expression. It’s about performance. It’s all for the feed. We’re consuming not out of necessity, but out of pressure.
Where Did Our Uniqueness Go?
I remember a time when we dressed to express who we were. When our outfits told a story, when we tied our geles the way it came to our hands that day. When we bought things because we liked them not because someone said it was a “must have”. When parties were a place to connect with friends and enjoy one’s self .
Now, it feels like we’re all shopping from the same Instagram store , our parties are more like carnivals, the DJ and his hype man more of a nuisance than an upgrade to the music. We are becoming copy-paste versions of each other. The brows are the same. The BBLs are the same. The fashion is one size fits all—even when it doesn’t fit. Uniqueness has become the price we pay for trendiness and sadly, many of us are no longer even trying to discover who we are and our artistic abilities , because it’s easier to follow than to create.
Let’s not even begin to talk about the mental stress of chasing every trend or the anxiety that comes from constantly reinventing oneself to match what’s hot, or the shame we feel when we fall behind. It’s pressure on pressure. One week we are on trend, the next week someone’s calling us “old school” because we wore bootcut jeans instead of cargo pants. Financially, we are spending more than we should on things we don’t need. Emotionally, we lose confidence in our own choices. Mentally, we’re constantly trying to catch up. Socially, we blend in rather than stand out and Creatively, we stop expressing our true self.
It’s a high price to pay for relevance and it is not sustainable neither is it necessary.
There’s something timeless and liberating about having one’s own style, not because we want to be different just to be different,” but style that says, “This is me.”
The older women I know-my mum, aunts and some of the women I admire today aren’t necessarily trendy but they have presence. They walk into a room and own it. They don’t need validation because their confidence comes from within. Their style reflects their essence and not what is popular that week and most importantly they know what suits them and stick to it.
The truth is , when we develop our own style, we don’t have to chase trends. We can admire them, maybe even adapt two or more to suit our taste, but they would not control us.
Funny enough, the most stylish people create trends rather than follow them because they are expressing themselves. I was talking with my daughter the other day and she was telling me that she liked Falz’s new trend of wearing lace designed in European styles for men. It looked somewhat good on him but it’s a No No for me and I am sure some young men will soon start copying the style and look foolish in it because it’s not them.
Trends will come and go. They always do. But you—your uniqueness, your voice, your story—those are timeless. Let’s not be so focused on looking like everybody else that we forget who we are. Let’s not let the world trick us into believing that sameness is safety. The truth is, the people who change the world rarely look like the crowd.
So the next time you’re tempted to jump on a trend, ask yourself: Is this me? Or am I just trying to keep up? Because in the end, staying true to ourselves will always be more powerful than staying trendy. I am at an age where I don’t want to look like everyone nor wear what everyone is wearing . I want to be unapologetically me in what I wear and in who I am because I have discovered that my uniqueness is my power, my individuality is my currency. The world doesn’t need another clone—it needs me, fully and unapologetically.
Let’s not be afraid to be different.