At the beginning of this event I am about to tell you, I felt self-loath.
I feel like committing suicide; I was depressed, so dejected, I felt like a used rag!
I have made a grave mistake and I was once too ashamed to talk about it because if you really think about it, it’s no fault of anyone but me being too trusting.
Ok, this is what happened. I met this guy I was supposed to get married to at work.
Though he was in a different department but we began to see each other regularly after about a year of just being friends.
Now, Felix, that’s his name, comes from a poor background but that didn’t stop me from admiring him and being his friend. He told me he liked me and that he knows I had rich boyfriends…he came to that conclusion, I guess because he had seen me being picked up by a few guys.
But these were just guys who were fishing; they had rich parents and didn’t even plan on settling down any time soon. I won’t deny that I had a some time or another had hangouts with these guys but it was nothing serious.
But why did I agree to go out with Felix, especially as I was the one practically spending money on him.
Felix is very ambitious.
He was a guy who knew where he was going and how to get there.
He would be the one who would make sure he submitted his project or proposals or ideas he had fleshed out before anyone.
He would read up or research any new client and when we had meetings with clients, he came up with bright ideas.
From get go, he told me he would marry me!
He told me he had no time or even money to waste on a girl he had no intention of making his wife; and that showed me that this was a young man who would go places in future. I was turned on by it.
So I really admired him.
Because I also believed he was hardworking, I knew he would succeed someday and I wanted to be a part of his life even though he had very humble beginnings. His parents lived in Makoko, can you believe?
He dressed well; lived in a two room; was very neat. Many guys are not neat, Felix was a neatness freak. I knew how he spent his salary- he gave his parents, his siblings and saved; many times, also, he buys me small gifts, note pad, bangles…small, small things. And so because I saw how his salary was divided, as in he often showed me his bank transactions; how he sent money and what savings he had, I didn’t bother with whether he bought me big gifts or not.
If he saved N20k this month, by next month I would know what his balance will be in that particular account. He was also into investments, mutual funds and all that, you know, this guy was ambitious!
He told me he knew I was from a privileged background and would like me to at least live in some comfort if we got married so he was saving and investing to give me and the children we would have, a safe future.
Anyway; after some time, Felix told me he needed a favour from me.
The way I loved Felix, I could die for him; I felt he was the best thing in my life, so whatever favour he needed, I would do.
He said a certain boss was harassing him because of me. He had been complaining about the boss giving him a hard time; you know?
The man would reject his proposal in favour of another that doesn’t even measure up to Felix’s he would send him to redo assignments that he had painstakingly done…
When he told me the boss was jealous of him because of his relationship with me, I was totally bunked and wanted to do what I could to help.
Felix told me his boss wanted him to leave me so he could date me. So he wanted me to act like there was nothing between us, and play the boss to find out exactly what the boss wanted.
At this time this was going on, I was a big mumu. I had no idea I was walking into a trap.
The way I loved Felix, I would have eaten shit for him; I swear, thinking back now, I don’t know if he did me juju.
Anyway, so I agreed to pretend to like this boss, who was a foreigner by the way.
The man had a family back in his home country and so, I knew he was just looking for girls to sleep with.
I went for dinner with the man a few times and realized he wasn’t exactly the monster Felix had made me think he was.
Yes, he was looking for a good time but he was also a nice man.
Meanwhile, Felix and I only saw weekends at work, we acted as if there was nothing between us.
One day, we went out and I am not sure what truly happened because, I must have blacked out. I don’t do drugs but maybe I took a little too much alcohol.
We ended up at the man’s apartment, the one the company rented for him;
I think I was raped! I woke up feeling…you know, I saw semen on my legs, I don’t remember how I even got to that room.
I sat hurdled in a corner and cried my eyes out that day. The man came in and said Felix was there that night told him I wanted to have sex!
How?
When?
I wasn’t myself!
He told me he was surprised I was acting as if I didn’t know what I came for. He said, Felix had told him I was an easy lay.
I cried even more and was too ashamed to even tell anyone.
I mean, how would I have known I was lured into a trap, a trap I walked into with my two eyes opened?
I was so angry with myself, I kept calling Felix but he neither picked my calls nor called back.
Eventually I went home; I couldn’t tell my sister I was living with, I just took my bath and drugged myself to sleep!
The following day was a Saturday, I waited for Felix to call, no show, I called him, WhatsApped him, nothing! I discovered he had blocked me.
I couldn’t go to work the following week because, you know, I was just sick.
I was sick from betrayal because it finally dawned on me that Felix used me to advance his position with his boss.
I resumed three days afterwards and Felix avoided me like a plague!
I mean, is that how you treat someone you have said you will marry?
I found out days later that he and his boss are now “paddy, paddy.”
Felix is playing with fire!
I went to his department at the close of work one day to confront him.
He told me the reason he had been avoiding me was because he was disappointed in me for sleeping with his boss and because of that, he couldn’t marry me again!
Hummn! Felix has stepped on a snake’s tail!
I have had time to think about my situation and I am no longer going to be crying over it.
Mark my words, I will fxxk Felix up big time, he won’t know how or when I will go for him! I will choose not to say what my plan is.
(Series written and edited by Peju Akande and based on true stories)