Kafi had twins for me but she presented them to another man as their father and I have to live with it. Kafi was never going to marry me. I had no plans to marry her either. We were both helping each other through difficult times, thatโs all.
Though the difficulty was more of hers than mine.
She needed a child and I needed a woman. Itโs that cut and dry.
I grew up on the streets. I come from a polygamous home. My father had like 5 wives and several girlfriends outside the home. Some of these women too, had children for him, though he denied paternity over one or two of them.
My mum, his third wife, left when I turned eight. She left me for my fatherโs wives to care for. Only they didnโt care for me, how could they? They had their own children to care for. One more mouth to feed was out of it, especially in a home where the father never gave anything for his childrenโs upkeep. The mothers did that.
Itโs no surprise that I grew up on the streets of Lagos. I stopped school at JSS3. I was just tired of it. There was no present father to insist I returned to school and no mother to cry about her son not getting an education. Not that the rest of my siblings were shining examples of good brainsโฆthey got by, though.
The rest of my fatherโs wives had their own issues. So I left school, I left home and joined all manner of cult groups until I finally owned my own bus. I simply had to survive.
How did I meet Kafi?
We were classmates at the government secondary school I attended back then. She had always been the bookish type but she was also fond of me. You know, she would say, โYou this bad boy, this bad boyโฆโ she would be smiling. I knew she liked me.
She would let me copy her paper during exams and give me some of her lunch money.
Kafi was the one who came looking for me when I stopped going to school. It was through her that my family even knew I had stopped school. I had been living on the streets thenโฆthey didnโt because of that come looking for me.
Anyway, Kafi saw me at one of the motor parks around Agege, she was traveling to Ibadan. I was wrapping a joint when I heard someone call my name from a bus calling for passengers going to Ibadan, Iwo Road. She shouted her name, โOlodo, you donโt remember Kafi, again, abiโ
I immediately threw the joint away because I knew she would come preaching to me. We hadnโt seen one another for close to eight years or more, in fact. But she didnโt scold me. In fact when she came closer, I knew something was wrong. She hugged me and began asking about my welfare. She asked why I didnโt come looking for her and all that.
I teased her and told her I was no longer a schoolboy but as we chatted, I saw she was troubled, so I took her to a canteen in the park where we could talk. I knew she had a lot on her mind.
She did
She had finished school but couldnโt continue because her parents couldnโt afford to send her to further her education. Instead, they had enrolled her at one of those places to learn hairdressing. Along the line, she met the man, who she said is a barber, she moved in with him to live as husband and wife.
He didnโt even pay any bride price
The man didnโt do anything โon her headโ to show he was serious about their relationship. He saw a free woman, he took her home and she was his wife. For someone who was book-smart in our early days at school, I was very disappointed in that decision. But I couldnโt judge her because, here I am also, I didnโt finish school and I am no more than a motor park toutโฆwith a bus!
She had been living with the man for two years and according to her, he was good to her but she couldnโt have a child for him. He told her that until she had his babies, he couldnโt properly marry her.
So she had been told of one Babalawo in Ibadan who would do charms to help her get pregnant.
I wasnโt surprised at this because I too have dabbled into charms myselfโฆfor protection, you know, insurance. So I told her I hoped the Baba was a hot one who knew the right herbs to mix to help her have a child.
We parted much later that day. I put her on a bus that the driver was willing to take her for free and she promised to look me up when she got back from Ibadan.
For about two or maybe even three months, I didnโt see Kafi.
I didnโt call her and she didnโt call me, either. I just thought maybe Babaโs herbs worked and she was pregnant.
She wasnโt.
Itโs either the Babalawoโs herbs failed or her husband is impotent.
Kafi was on her way to see the Baba in Ibadan when we jammed again. I asked her how far, and she pointed at her stomach, meaning, there was still nothing there.
You know, Kafi is not even up to 30 years old. Why she was going up and down looking for a baby surprised me. I asked her why she was even risking her life with all of the travel today, and travel tomorrow. She just smiled and said, โYou canโt understandโฆI want a child of my own and I want to settle down.โ
I joked about giving her babies
That was when I jokingly said, โI can give you triplets with my eyes closed.โ I said it as a joke. We both teased one anotherโฆshe said my sperm would have been corrupted from all the joints I smoked and so she didnโt want to have my babies. I replied that the babies will be tall and handsome like me and have a sharp brainโฆwe were just joking.
The following dayโฆKafi called me at the park, she had just returned from Ibadan. Again we went to the canteen, where we could talk. She said Baba wanted to sleep with her. He had asked her to stay overnight. She said she would rather remain childless than sleep with any dirty baba. Again I joked about giving her triplets.
Then she challenged me, she said, โAre you sure youโre not impotent from all the drugs youโve been taking?โ
I said, โCome, letโs go to โshort- time, let me show you what I can doโฆโ
Jokingly, we laughed. See short time close to the park. We rented a room for just 1 hourโฆwe spent 4 hours!
Me, โEkun!โ I am a tiger! I shook her gbijigbji
And thatโs what we did for the next month and she got pregnant!
I told you I am omo ekun, son of a tiger. My father has over 14 childrenโฆthe ones he can count. There are others he has denied but we know they are his children. We are very fertile, where I come from.
She has twins
When she was about to have the babies, she told me about them. But I couldnโt visit. I couldnโt even call her like I would love to. And letโs be clear here. I like Kafi but I donโt want marriage or a relationship, and most of all, I donโt want children. It was looking like I was going to repeat my father’s mistakes. My father who had too many women and too many children. I chose in this life to remain me, myself, alone.
When I feel like sex, I know where to goโฆit is always availableโฆplenty, sef. So thereโs no shortage of that here and for me, for that matter.
So I know I have children, whom I donโt want to know I am their father. I gave them as gifts to their mother, who will remain my good friend, till I die.
That is all.
(Series written and edited by Peju Akande and based on true stories)