I made it my business to stop my mother from cheating on her man

I call my mother, “my aunty” because I grew up believing she was my aunt and I feel cheated by her. She had me in her first year at the university when she was 19 years old. She remained at home after my birth but her parents insisted she finished her education. So she went back to school. The one who fathered me disappeared…his own story is for another day. But let me state that I grew up in a loving home. My maternal grandparents, whom I didn’t know were grandparents, took care of me. They loved me and spoiled me silly. I went to the best schools, and thankfully, God favoured me with brains. So primary, secondary, university, Master’s degree programs…I made my “parents” proud. Now, when I say parents, I am solely referring to my grandparents. This isn’t my story, it is about my mother who I found to be cheating on her new man with her ex-husband. My family is crazy, I know. I am not close to “My aunty” aka my biological mother. Like I said, I grew up thinking of her to be an aunt, elder sister, not my mother and she too didn’t have much motherly instincts towards me anyway. When I was growing up, she was in the university. When I began to understand the world around me, she had finished university and gone abroad for her Masters’ degree. The days she showed up in our house before then were few and our relationship was nothing special.

My mother is an aunt to me

She met her husband while abroad and they got engaged. Since they both stayed back to live and work abroad, my relationship with her just didn’t exist. I’m not sure she called once and asked to speak to me specially. I’m not sure. They had a son, whom I loved so much when they brought him home. He looked like me, like a spitting image of me. I loved the boy and I was determined to be a feature in his life even though I and his mother didn’t acknowledge much between us. After a few years, they relocated back to Nigeria fully. That was good for me because it meant I could play a role in my younger brother’s life. I would visit, and many times ask that he comes to spend some time with me at his grandparent’s home. The bond I couldn’t form with his mother, I formed with him. I have nothing to do with his father. He was someone I had to tolerate because…well, you know. Then something happened between my aunty and her husband. I do not care to know what it is, what it was, I just do not care. I was concerned for my brother who at that time had become a teenager with plenty of questions nobody had answers for except me.

Aunt has always been a cheat

My aunt moved out of her matrimonial home with my brother and before I knew what was going on, she was already in a relationship with another man. This time an Alhaji from the North. So apparently, this Alhaji has other wives, because he didn’t move my aunty into his home, instead, he rented a duplex in an exclusive estate in Lekki for her and her son. That’s where I visited my brother when I needed to see him or take him out. I was visiting one day when I saw my aunt’s ex-husband. That is, my brother’s father. As I said, I really do not care about these people. But if they had anything to do with my brother’s welfare, then it mattered to me. So when I saw this ex, I asked my aunty what he was doing in the house. To the best of my knowledge, Alhaji from the North was the one who was paying the rent so why was she entertaining an ex in that house? I, being a man, would not like to have another man in a house I am paying for. My aunty said he came to see his son and that they needed to discuss some things. I didn’t buy her story. He was too relaxed, too easy around the house and from what I gathered, it wasn’t his first time being there.

I know my aunt to be a liar

Anyway, I stood in the sitting room and asked her to dismiss him. It won’t be pretty if Alhaji from the North suddenly came by and saw his love nest invaded. My aunt’s ex-husband said it was none of my business. I said, I agree but your actions could jeopardise the life of my younger brother. So I will make it my business. I told my aunty, if you don’t send him out of here, I will throw him out myself. Now you have to understand that I neither cared for the ex-husband nor Alhaji himself. I wasn’t fighting for my aunty even, I really didn’t care what happened to her. I feared, however, for my younger brother whose life may be upended by these people’s foolishness and selfishness. So I insisted the ex-husband leaves. My aunty said I should leave instead because she wasn’t even fully divorced from her ex and so he had more right in her house than me. See me see wahala, o. I told both of them I didn’t care but if they had anything called love in their hearts for their son, then they would be careful. Here is my aunty who didn’t have a job but depended on Alhaji from the North for her livelihood and her son’s education. I am not sure her ex-has a job to sustain them either in that house or in anything much less and here she was entertaining him on another man’s bill. I was angry and insisted I would beat this ex and if need be. my aunty herself to instill some sense into their heads.

Did I overreact?

Now, my reaction may be from the fact that I had always felt abandoned by my aunty and the man who fathered me and I saw a repeat of this about to happen to my younger brother. If Alhaji found out about her relationship with her ex, what life would my brother be subjected to? The “parents” who raised me are too old, my dad is 84 and my mum is 80 years old. Would they be the ones to raise my brother? I can’t because I am not even settled. I travel for work and because of what I saw in my own biological parents, I wouldn’t want an unsettled parent- figure raising my child or any child for that matter. I wanted stability for my kid brother. Anyway, long story short, I threw Aunty’s husband out of the house and told her if I found out he came to that house again, I would beat both of them up. I’m not sure I meant it o but they believed me. See musckles everywhere na! So far, I am still second-guessing myself. This ex- is after all my brother’s father. I know my brother would need a father figure in his life. Did I do right? Is this really my business? Who says I am my brother’s guardian angel? But what if Alhaji from the North shows up one day and throws all of them out? You know, sometimes I wish I had just left them to their foolishness. (Series written and edited by Peju Akande and based on true stories) photo credit