Is it ok to ask God, why? – Peju Akande

There are many things that happen to humans that one shouldn’t be chastised for asking – God, why did you allow this?

Why does God allow bad things happen to good people?

I’ve been watching a Korean TV series titled Hellbound, the theme of which centers around the concept of good and evil and I’m reminded again of bad things happening to good people and the general community thinking people are “hellbound” because they did ‘evil’ even when there is no obvious proof supporting their evil deeds.

To come back home, look at the case of the woman who died after being bitten by a snake in her toilet. Some people are already suggesting that “it’s village people at work.”

“She must have offended some people…”

I’m rolling my eyes.

There are some things we shouldn’t hold God responsible for.

I mean, this snake thing in the toilet has been peddled online in the last few years though none of the videos took place in Nigeria. What this means is that, a snake sneaking up your ass is a likelihood. It’s not out of the ordinary, it’s an accident waiting to happen especially where all factors like a swampy area, rodents, etc are in place… this kind of accident can happen.

My partner put it in better perspective, 

” Some people just have bad luck.”

Bad luck doesn’t respect creed, gender, religious bias…it just strikes like malaria where factors making it happen are available.

Now, this piece isn’t a religious nor a heretical piece, just a thought following after what I’ve seen in the last few days.

A few years ago, I went with my partner to bury his cousin in the East. I had the opportunity to meet this cousin. A jolly fellow who was always full of smiles. He was a handy man who had helped my friend refurbish his house having trained in Italy as a construction engineer.

This cousin was in his late forties when he died suddenly. I said “suddenly” because his young wife had said that he was neither sick nor complained of ill health prior. He was however obese, not grotesquely so or we would easily have made assumptions but if doctors can call me fat just because I am 3 kg above my ideal weight, then he could be regarded as obese since he was some 10 to 15kg above his ideal weight.

He died, “it was a blood clot” we were later told.

“Ha, his children are still young. 7 year old twins and a 3 year old”

“Oh dear his wife is still so young, barely 40years, how will she cope?”

We oh-ed and ha-ed at the burial and wept for a beloved brother gone too soon.

The kids seemed oblivious of what was going on. They teased one another and their mother had to keep berating them to behave. They didn’t know what had hit them.

They were boys who had lost their dad and they had no idea what role a father plays, especially a good father, many said

But they will know when they see their friends’ dads, we reasoned.

We kept in touch with the wife and kids as best as we could, thankful that at least the cousin had the good sense to get life insurance and with a few landed property his kids would at least be in school for a long time to come.

A few years passed…four…going on five years and…

then the wife died!

“What the…?”

“How the…?”

“Oh my God!”

I froze when I heard the news.

Who died?

I was completely shook! I had nightmares for days as I tried to imagine what the kids must be going through.

Liz is dead?

Who dunnit?

Cancer dunnit!

Aww crap!

The boys are barely into their teenage years. No father or mother…

What was God doing? Where was He looking when this happened?

We don’t question God! That’s why we call Him, Kabiesi-Ka bi o o’si. Meaning, who’s to question You?

I wept for the boys. They, at the time we visited, were jumping around like normal school kids. Running after one another…

“They haven’t been told,” we were informed by their aunt.

Ha, no wonder. So what did you tell them?

“We told them their mother was still sick in the hospital.”

I wondered how long it would take before they knew; before they sensed “…mummy will never come back ever again.”

One week?

“They have exams now…so after exams…”

After exams, we visited and they had mellowed. There was a drag to their conversations with us.  They couldn’t articulate their thoughts, they just gave one liners.

So I wondered aloud, “Which kind badluck God give this people so?”

My partner was quick to rebuke me, “No, o don’t say bad luck. What do you want Pastor Taiwo to do? He lost two wives, because he doesn’t know God enough, abi? Or you know pass am?”

Ok. So I kept quiet. Who am I to ask God, why?

“Pastor Adeboye nko, who lost his son earlier this year?”

Ok.

So God isn’t partial; even His generals aren’t spared. But why do the good ones die?

I churned over this and came to a comfortable conclusion, He’s a jealous God, so He wants the good ones to Himself. Not to say those of us still alive aren’t beloved, just that, to each his/her time.

Back to the boys; “They are beginning to know what has hit them.” One of those who came to commiserate with the family said when I stared at the boys wondering what life had to offer them after this.

Children grieve differently; they’ll unravel in different ways. Teachers, care givers, guardians, even neighbors have to watch what they say and do with these ones.

Family and friends have to fill in the gaps left by the parents. Even communities too have to step in. 

 And it will be the job of the rest of us adults around them to help them grieve because they will for a lifetime to come.

Whatever the outcome, I do pray the Lord our lives to spare.