I was playing catch-up with a close friend the other day and as the conversation deepened into insights on what was going on in each of our individual lives, I realised that even though our lives were far from perfect, we had learned to enjoy whatever phase of life we were in, be content with who we are and what we have at the present.
We had learnt to be happy and hopeful even if our pockets were not as full as we hoped for nor our relationships as fulfilling as we wished them to be. We had found a way out of the feverish rat race of wanting to be and to have all we could have and had decided to be happy with and enjoy what we had presently, whilst aspiring for more.
Contentment is defined as being willing to accept something, the state of being happy and satisfied and it’s a state of mind I am beginning to identify with. You may ask how possible that is, considering the world we are living in which has a preponderance of wars within and outward, the worldwide economic recession and security issues but the first thing to realize is that contentment is an inward state of being. One can be content even if and when everything around one is in disarray.
We all want to fit in, to belong, to be where our contemporaries are and to have and do whatever they do, and it is a very legitimate aspiration. This ambition that drives us to always do better, to want and achieve more is a God given desire. However, we need to be careful that our ambition allows us the luxury to enjoy the journey to its fulfillment, that we are not over delaying gratification of all we have achieved for the utopia of perfection that will never come. That we are not too driven in our pursuit of a better life that we miss the highlights of the life we presently have.
The lack of contentment can be traced to many things including resentment, peer pressure and comparison. Resentment of one’s place in life breeds terrible attitudes. If for example, you think that you ought to be flying first or Business class on your holidays, you will never enjoy the flight from an economy seat even though the airline treats you like a first-class passenger. At best, you will think they are patronizing you forgetting that you are much better than the person who isn’t on the plane. It’s the lack of contentment not poverty that makes people steal what belongs to others, that gives rise to jealousy and all the evil things that accompany it.
Contentment is a scarce commodity in today’s world of an invasive and addictive social media culture where everyone posts their best moments (rightly so) for all to see and admire. I recently had to rebuke myself because I had unconsciously begun to feel envious about pictures I saw on instagram taken by people hanging out with their friends. I was envious because they seemed to be having great fun and I didn’t know when I started to wish that I had such outings with my friends. But I was envious of what I already have. I do have great friends, we hang out often and enjoy ourselves when we do. The only difference between our outings and those I saw was that we didn’t post pictures about our outings. Since I had that awakening, those pictures don’t birth any envious streak in me anymore because I am conscious of the fact that I also have my own version of what they have, and I am happy with it.
There are many reasons why we can’t enjoy our present place in life, try as we may, and those reasons often stem from one big reason (insecurities from our past). We need to understand that one big reason and tackle it. Please note that in doing so we will have to ask ourselves hard questions and discover for ourselves what will really make us happy and satisfied with our lives. Remember, money doesn’t necessarily bring contentment and that being content is being grateful for where you’re at and what you have now.
To combat the feelings of discontent I feel especially from social media I have started to remove myself from triggers that make for discontent. From time to time, I block some entrepreneurs I follow on instagram who sell dresses and fashion items, because I found out that their posts were making me want more than I could afford to buy, especially as I had pieces of clothings I had never worn hung in my closet.
I also have become more appreciative of the things I do have especially in the light of the circumstances of others I see daily around me and, in the world, at large. I am keenly aware that no matter how small I think my achievements are, there are many others who wouldn’t achieve all that I have achieved.
There are levels to life and no level is bereft of some luxury. An example that comes to mind readily is alcohol. There are alcoholic beverages for everyone at whatever levels in the social strata that they find themselves, from the local ogogoro to well refined and smooth whiskey. Like water I have found my level and I am enjoying myself therein.
Finally, I now use the word “Now” more often than “ When I” because I realize that “ When I” predisposes me to look to the future for contentment because it always postpones savoring the joys and beauties of the present for the future but if you think about it carefully, none of us have been promised a future, heck not even the next hour so choose to relish the moment you have right now.
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